We are all doing amazingly well. Both kids absolutely loved school: Johnny had a boat load of testing done and got his IEP. The process was tedious, but he has flourished. He worked up to a full day, with a mix of specialized work and regular class room work. He uses a little keyboard system for most of the time, as writing will always be a challenge…. He even won a blue ribbon at the County Fair on a project that he completed with another classmate. I went to the school to find him before the Summer break and he was running around the playground with three little girls following close behind. He politely introduced me to each of them (like a little adult) he is a different kid, very nice, not as ornery as most boys his age…. Nat has blossomed as well. She has a BFF (best friends forever) who lives less than a block from us and she is a member of the “Werewolf Club”. This basically means that there are little kids running around howling and pretending to feed each other. It is comical, because it is so second grade and not Goth at all. She was a little behind academically (I/she was to stressed and scattered to do a good job before Bane died. You have no idea just how hard life was around here with him failing!) I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone!! Anyway, she is catching up and is totally enthusiastic about learning and works very hard to do her best.
This summer I bought a pass to our local pool/water park and I have taught Nat how to swim (she still has several lessons to go to learn more advanced skills). Johnny got to take two weeks of swimming lessons as part of his PE at the end of the school year. He surprised me when he jumped fearlessly off the diving board in 14’ deep water.
Fathers Day was a mixed bag. Both kids wanted to release balloons with notes to their dad on them, so we did that. It was sweet, we did that part over at the grandparents house (Bane’s folks). -Earlier, Nat fell apart at church, sobbing in a corner that she missed daddy. Johnny was fine until he saw this, then he got instant diarrhea from the stress (oh so fun). Fortunately his tummy settled down and the problem didn’t last.
Johnny is looking at another surgery right after the Fourth of July. He will have a piece of rib grafted into his nose. There is titanium mesh and bone paste to “chip away” in his bridge. And a septal defect/surgery failure to correct. He will get new tubes in his ears and they will also remove some metal from inside of his upper gum line that was left behind from a previous surgery, so that he can have braces, and hopefully later another maxio-facial surgery that could eliminate his need for a c-pap. He’ll have a splint for a week and he won’t get to use the pool for a month, but it has to be done. I know that the pool may seem trivial, but after all we have gone through, this year is a time for us to heal and it means a lot to all of us.
I went to a grief counselor for a while, then I participated in a grief group that met for six weeks. It was amazingly helpful. I’m not doing any of that anymore. I don’t seem to need it. There are still moments that are a little overwhelming, but I don’t live in a perpetual whirlpool of sadness anymore and I look forward to my future. I have strong faith in God and that he has a plan for the rest of my life. This season has really been about reestablishing my identity and learning how to rest and heal in Father God’s love. We switched churches recently –There is newness of life for us at this time, despite our loss(es) I also lost my best friend to cancer in May.
I am enjoying the kids and getting into pretty good shape, working out, gardening swimming laps and playing with the kids. I’m lucky; I used to be a veritable physical beast, so I have amazing muscle memory. Just a little discipline goes a long way for me. I’m wearing my skinny clothes now and getting firmer every week, (even after picking 25 lbs of strawberries and pigging out on strawberry cheesecake and real whipping cream.)
Again, I can’t begin to communicate what all of your support has meant to us. Nat just asked me to tell all of you “thanks for helping us after our problem with daddy”. We all appreciate it and we have felt your prayers. I’m praying that those blessing go back at ya!!
Love, Mrs. Bane