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        Monday, July 14, 2008


    I had a chance today to go see that new Hellboy movie, and I just did not feel motivated to go through the effort of getting ready, and driving there. Besides, it is devilish hot today...or so I told myself, even though I would have been in the 'new' car which I am told has wonderful air conditioning.

    I just checked the temp, and it's 92. Too hot to walk to and from the car in. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. By the way, folks, and apropos of nothing besides my gratitude; thanks for the donations that have allowed the wife to get the new tie-rods she needs and have them installed. She has been a little white around the eyes, lately, worrier that she is, because work has not been coming in for she and her boss/partner.

    I guess old folk just up and croak this time of the year, when it's hot. Oh well, people with money and guilt always have a family member dying, who they don't want to take care of themselves.

    I have a weird way of communicating with the wife. It used to annoy her, then she got used to it. She'll ask my opinion on something, and quite often I could care less either way, so I'll say 'We Report, You Decide' or something equally lame. She knows now that if she is talking about the minutiae of life, that I am only looking at her to be polite, and that I don't hear a fucking thing. Go talk to the toaster, honey.

    Oh, have you ever wondered why I call her 'the wife'? Well, because I am too damn lazy to capitalize the first letters. She'll be the last one I ever have, no matter what, and I am crazy about her. Sometimes I realize that I haven't shown her that enough, lately, so I tell her, and then do my best to show her. She lives like a single woman, free as a bird, and she has a husband and two kids.

    She went through enough with Johnny in those first several years of his life, that...well, it would have broken most women. Or at best, left them bitter and pinch-faced. I began to discern a need, and when I felt that Johnny had stabilized enough that even a boob like me could take care of him, I started encouraging her to take breaks. So, her church ladies, who did stuff all the time, like go to retreats and such stepped in, and that is what began to refill the wife's soul. Men, no matter how close you are to your woman, she needs two things: A) girlfriend time, and B) alone time. No you, no kids, just her, doing whatever she wants. And men, you wouldn't understand what they want, so just let them off their leash and let them run.

    Remember? Girls are different than boys? And in far more ways than just plumbing.

    So, anyway, this is what has percolated in my fevered mind today. Just one last word: if you don't want to throw her down and put your brand on her, don't get Heck, live together. Roommates with privileges. To me, every woman I ever met was the one.

    Until I met The One.