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  • Self Help Books...



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  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

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        Sunday, June 01, 2008

    Self Help Books...

    If you need somebody else's help, I submit to you you are not helping yourself. I mean, we all need somebody else's help here, sooner or later...a doctor, a dentist, a hooker, but if they are helping you, you ain't helping yourself.

    Heck, I have grown so dependent on the wife, I don't know what I would do if God translated her to Heaven, and left me here alone.

    If you had to read a book to learn how to do something, somebody else helped you. Society would collapse in less than 24 hours if all of the gas stations closed. What, are you gonna go out and refine enough crude oil to fill your tank? Think about that next time you are tempted to rag on your pump jockey for not washing your windshield.

    Need a haircut? Might as well shave your head, because what you end up with after going at yourself with a mirror and scissors is gonna look like Rosie O'Donnell's pubic patch mated with an epileptic sheep in a thunderstorm.

    Howsabout that odd ticking sound coming from the engine of your car? Well, I sure as heck don't see anything under the modern car hood that I recognize. And I have changed engines and transmissions in the past. Long past. I've rebuilt carburetors. Do cars even have those anymore? Heck, I'm afraid to try to change a damn air filter.

    Don't get me wrong, here. I still hate people just fine. Have no use for most of them. But try giving yourself a hemorrhoidectomy and let me know how that turns out for you.

    Send pictures.