This may just be the single dumbest thing I have read all year. Here's a highlight:
Rick Winslow, a Game and Fish large carnivore biologist, said it's rare for a mountain lion to kill a human. The last reported human killing by a lion in New Mexico was in 1974 when an 8-year-old Arroyo Seco boy was killed by a 47-pound female mountain lion.
You know why they're not reported? BECAUSE A PILE OF MOUNTAIN LION SHIT CAN'T MAKE IT TO A PHONE!!! THEY FUCKING EAT YOU!!!
Here's another Gem of Genius:
"Attacks by wildlife may become more frequent as our growing population expands into the urban-wildland interface," Winslow said. "New Mexico has a healthy population of mountain lions and people who live around them must learn to take precautions and avoid dangerous encounters."
Yes, dipshit, it is called 'killing every motherfucking one you see'!!!
I've LIVED in mountain lion country, and that crap you hear that 'they are more scared of you than you are of them' is complete and utter bullshit. I killed this bitch-cat one time that would drop by at night, and put her front paws on our cabin windows (6' off the ground) and look around, and check us out while we slept. Finally, I put slugs in my shotgun, and blew her fucking head off. Shot the window out, too. And set my covers on fire. You just roll them up and it smothers it.
And the next morning, I tracked her back to her den, found her kits, and used #2 shot to shred them as they mewled there. Fuck a damn mountain lion. It pissed me off, too, cuz I coulda got a nice piece of change from the local university for her skeleton, after the buzzards and ants and beetles picked it clean, but I had ruined it by blowing half her head off.
They hear you coming, and it is like a normal cat hearing the can-opener running. And they're sneaky fuckers, too. I always used to watch my back trail when I was in the woods. And check out branches before I walked under them.
And I had one knock me on my ass once. I had found an old mine-shaft that probably hadn't been seen since the 1800's, and curious, I approached it to peek around inside.
Well, the mountain lion finally couldn't stand it anymore, and burst out past me and ran off. I was finally able to swallow my heart back down to where it belonged. It had to be a male, because if it had been a female with babies, she'd have done her best to kill me.
And you know what? I wouldn't have been able to make it to a phone, either.