What a fuckin joke. I open 'child-proof' caps one-handed all the time. I send my kids to get me this or that pill all the time from those bottles. Even Johnny, with his crippled little hands, can open them. I just tell them that the shit will kill them, if I don't kill them first, and if they take any of them, they have to go to the hospital and get lots of shots, and a big tube shoved up their butt.
I believe in ruling by terror.
One time Nat got into some sort of chewable. I snatched her off to the bathroom, bent her over the toilet, and two of my fingers had their way with the back of her throat. She puked up everything, including breast milk she had suckled as a newborn, and I'm going all R. Lee Ermey on her, and Johnny and the wife are watching goggle eyed from the bathroom doorway, and I ask him "Did you eat any?!!" and he shook his head NO!! so hard I feared it might fall off.
I love you, kids, but I will fuck you up to make sure you do not fuck your own damn self up.