BaneRants  

You must be at least this tall to ride this ride

::Tip Jar::






::Menu::

View My Stats




eXTReMe Tracker


Crusader for Christ Crusader against Islam


This blog is protected from memes by Grundir the Implacable



Creative Commons License
This work
licensed under
a Creative
Commons License
.

RSS FEED

email me






::Links::


Pat Dollard

James Lileks
(My Idol)


Sharp Knife
(My Other Hero)


BaneRants
(Wordpress)

Now With Best ofs!

Haunted Soldier

Curses & Chrome

All Atwitter

Maiden Magnetic

Random Bits of Pomposity

Baldilocks

Vox Day

Velociman

Pondering...

Doc in the Box

Protein Wisdom

Atlas Shrugs

Twenty Major

Northwoods
Woman


Kolyada.com

Olbermmeinfuhrer

DaddyBlogger



::Previous::
  • Well, THIS Is Disturbing...



  • ::Past::
  • September 2002
  • October 2002
  • November 2002
  • December 2002
  • January 2003
  • February 2003
  • March 2003
  • April 2003
  • May 2003
  • June 2003
  • July 2003
  • August 2003
  • September 2003
  • October 2003
  • November 2003
  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • March 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • May 2011
  • September 2012







  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

    This page is powered by Blogger.


        Monday, May 19, 2008

    Well, THIS Is Disturbing...

    The wife and I were chatting this morning, and she mentioned that I must not have slept too well, because she heard me moving around downstairs at 2:30 this morning when she got up to pee. Trouble is, that wasn't me. And I told her so. She said "I know your sounds, and it was you..."

    Hmmmmmm...

    Either I'm walking in my sleep, or someone is doing a good imitation of me. Or something.

    Remember the post a bit back I wrote on the wife's dying charge's last words? As she died? Well the wife is out meeting with the dead woman's daughter right now, and giving her a sympathy card with her mother's last words annotated in it, along with a personal note of condolence from the wife. The last person in this life that held the woman's hand as she entered the next life.

    Was it me? I told her if she hears it again, to come and check me, and if I am abed, wake me, and I'll pass out guns, and we'll go check it out. If I'm not in bed, approach with caution. Might not be the best idea to startle me awake.

    I only walked in my sleep during one period in my life. My first son was newly born, and I was working my ass off in the oilfields in the panhandles of Oklahoma and Texas. Worse, I didn't walk in my sleep, I cooked in my sleep.

    My parents and my ex and me and the baby lived in one of those big old huge two-story houses, like you see in the movie 'Twister'. The town where much of that picture was filmed in. To be clear, I lived in that town.

    My Dad woke me up very early one morning. I was standing in front of the stove, eggs burning in a pan, a can of Coors Light on the counter, and in my work coveralls, they unzipped down to my belly button, the only other article of clothing on me being my underwear, and one sock. That was scary.

    I really don't know. Was it live? Or was it Memorex... I know I go out of my body, I've told you that before. Women in bed with me have screamed when they see me floating above my body, looking at them. Without fail, they always describe my eyes as being empty black holes. When they scream, I snap back in, and get what I very rarely get, a monumental headache.

    I travel all over, here and there, but to my knowledge, I have never tromped around the living room. And I've been doing this shit as long as I can remember. This is either something new, some Thing else, or I'm sleepwalking. And the sleepwalking part scares the shit out of me.

    Spirits can't cock firearms. Or use them to deleterious effect.

    I swear, if I find out I really am walking about at night, in my sleep, unawares, I will have the wife use restraints on me. If it turns out to be some sort of spook, God and I are gonna kick its fuckin ass.

    And if some previous tenant has keys to the place, I will ventilate their ventricles.

    Why can't shit ever be easy?