My son and his woman got snowed out of their camping trip, so I didn't have to loan out My Baby to him for four, horrible days.
To Whom It May Concern: Fuck you. If you want to borrow one of my guns, well, shoulda bought your own, eh? Never again. I'm still constipated. Laxative time in the morning. In other words, you've got more disposable income than I do, so buy your own fucking gun.
Whew. Dodged a bullet with that one.
So, the kids are down, we watched the new Willy Wonka together. Six thumbs up. Really great. The wife is out holy rolling again. She is supposedly learning 'healing'. Well, when I was getting the pistol I was going to loan my son down today, some asshole (I'm lookin at you, wife!) had put a Bic lighter up on top of it, that we use to light the barbecue.
And that fucker slid off the towel I cover the gun case with, and dropped down directly onto one of my toes. Oh man, did I ever cuss up a storm. Fuck, that hurt. She knelt in front of me, and held her hand over my foot, and prayed too softly for me to make out, and what had been agony, just faded away. I said "Hey, honey, while you're down there, could you pray for a bigger dick for me?" She snorted, and said "I don't ever want anything bigger than what you've got..." so my toe quit hurting, and I got a nice compliment.
Jesus loves me, this I know...