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  • What Is Horror?



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  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

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        Thursday, April 03, 2008

    What Is Horror?

    I think it is subjective. For me, it might be a large furry spider dropping from the ceiling, onto my face. For LL, it is a tiny mouse scampering across her feet, under the desk, followed closely by a viper that is hunting it, and then she runs screaming to the elevator, and it gets stuck between floors, and then...the lights go out.

    And she hears the cable groaning and stretching, and then the bright ting! of individual strands snapping, one by one, as the elevator shudders and shakes like a greyhound that wants nothing more than to race into the basement, as she lays there on the floor after, listening to the cable whicker down and cut through the top of the elevator as if it was a slice of Kraft cheese, and leave her in steaming, segmented chunks and...

    Whew, shake it off, Bane. Come back here, into the light...

    So, what is your horror? What scares you? The most? Is it so bad, you can't share it with the rest of the class? Well, I hope you brought enough for everybody.

    Horror. Subjective. I fear no death, though there are some versions I would avoid if I could. Zombies freak me out. Being chewed on is a very bad thing. Have you ever been bitten? I have. Hurts like a motherfucker. I have bitten, too, and that tends to stop whatever bullshit is going on right quick.

    You know that your lungs are barely half an inch past your ribs, right? Now, how thick is your epidermis? Can you bite a fat plug out of a thick steak? Now, bite the next cocksucker who fucks with you in the side of their neck. Follow the sternocleidomastoid muscle, move forward of it, and chomp. Close your eyes, because you have just hit a carotid artery, and it will spray everywhere, including into your mouth.

    Of course, if you just want to cripple them, bite into that big neck muscle. Their head will lean to one side for the rest of their life.

    Oh, I'm sorry, did that horrify you? Good. Bullshit like 'Hostel' should have never seen film. Rob Zombie's movies are glorious bits of bloody, campy farce. I enjoy them. Movies like 'Hostel' are just porn for serial killers and sadists. And for future serial killers and sadists.
    I would cheerfully sign off on legislation to keep movies like that from polluting America's psyche. Fuck the First Amendment.

    Horror...rollercoasters take advantage of the human nature to be horrified. Sadly, my personal emotional defects prevent me from enjoying them. I've ridden rollercoaters that will suck your asshole up and out of your mouth, and I just look for defects in the tracks. Otherwise it's a yawn. In the military, when it came time for me to jump from airborn vehicles, I just did it. When we went off the ramp of a ship in an LST, and I saw the ocean darken the plexi slit windows, I shrugged and said 'oh well'.

    And I looked around me, and most of my squadmates looked like a ghost had just come in their mouths.

    I do have a horror of losing a limb, or an eye. Or a child. Or my wife.

    That's a special sort of Hell, right there.