You must be at least this tall to ride this ride

::Tip Jar::


View My Stats

eXTReMe Tracker

Crusader for Christ Crusader against Islam

This blog is protected from memes by Grundir the Implacable

Creative Commons License
This work
licensed under
a Creative
Commons License


email me


Pat Dollard

James Lileks
(My Idol)

Sharp Knife
(My Other Hero)


Now With Best ofs!

Haunted Soldier

Curses & Chrome

All Atwitter

Maiden Magnetic

Random Bits of Pomposity


Vox Day



Doc in the Box

Protein Wisdom

Atlas Shrugs

Twenty Major




  • What Is Horror?

  • ::Past::
  • September 2002
  • October 2002
  • November 2002
  • December 2002
  • January 2003
  • February 2003
  • March 2003
  • April 2003
  • May 2003
  • June 2003
  • July 2003
  • August 2003
  • September 2003
  • October 2003
  • November 2003
  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • March 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • May 2011
  • September 2012

  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

    This page is powered by Blogger.

        Thursday, April 03, 2008

    What Is Horror?

    I think it is subjective. For me, it might be a large furry spider dropping from the ceiling, onto my face. For LL, it is a tiny mouse scampering across her feet, under the desk, followed closely by a viper that is hunting it, and then she runs screaming to the elevator, and it gets stuck between floors, and then...the lights go out.

    And she hears the cable groaning and stretching, and then the bright ting! of individual strands snapping, one by one, as the elevator shudders and shakes like a greyhound that wants nothing more than to race into the basement, as she lays there on the floor after, listening to the cable whicker down and cut through the top of the elevator as if it was a slice of Kraft cheese, and leave her in steaming, segmented chunks and...

    Whew, shake it off, Bane. Come back here, into the light...

    So, what is your horror? What scares you? The most? Is it so bad, you can't share it with the rest of the class? Well, I hope you brought enough for everybody.

    Horror. Subjective. I fear no death, though there are some versions I would avoid if I could. Zombies freak me out. Being chewed on is a very bad thing. Have you ever been bitten? I have. Hurts like a motherfucker. I have bitten, too, and that tends to stop whatever bullshit is going on right quick.

    You know that your lungs are barely half an inch past your ribs, right? Now, how thick is your epidermis? Can you bite a fat plug out of a thick steak? Now, bite the next cocksucker who fucks with you in the side of their neck. Follow the sternocleidomastoid muscle, move forward of it, and chomp. Close your eyes, because you have just hit a carotid artery, and it will spray everywhere, including into your mouth.

    Of course, if you just want to cripple them, bite into that big neck muscle. Their head will lean to one side for the rest of their life.

    Oh, I'm sorry, did that horrify you? Good. Bullshit like 'Hostel' should have never seen film. Rob Zombie's movies are glorious bits of bloody, campy farce. I enjoy them. Movies like 'Hostel' are just porn for serial killers and sadists. And for future serial killers and sadists.
    I would cheerfully sign off on legislation to keep movies like that from polluting America's psyche. Fuck the First Amendment.

    Horror...rollercoasters take advantage of the human nature to be horrified. Sadly, my personal emotional defects prevent me from enjoying them. I've ridden rollercoaters that will suck your asshole up and out of your mouth, and I just look for defects in the tracks. Otherwise it's a yawn. In the military, when it came time for me to jump from airborn vehicles, I just did it. When we went off the ramp of a ship in an LST, and I saw the ocean darken the plexi slit windows, I shrugged and said 'oh well'.

    And I looked around me, and most of my squadmates looked like a ghost had just come in their mouths.

    I do have a horror of losing a limb, or an eye. Or a child. Or my wife.

    That's a special sort of Hell, right there.