At the same time, The Most Selfish Act Ever, and The Sincerest Form Of Self Criticism.
I think you should be able to apply at your nearest pharmacy for a cyanide pill, have a one week waiting period, and if you still want one, fine. Go to a Sui-Center, get the pill, lay on a nice bed, and croak.
The only reason I will personally accept, is so much incredible physical pain that is unbearable, and or a fatal disease. And not emotional pain. Go buy some heroin, and shut the fuck up, you whiner.
Man up, and walk deep into the woods with a .44 magnum you just maxed your credit card out on, and stick it in your mouth. Don't do it where your family can find you, and where your selfish bullshit will give EMT's more fodder for their nightmares. Like they need any more.
You selfish, thoughtless cunts. I especially enjoy you crazy fucks that take your spouse and your kids with you. Assholes. Now, co-workers, I get that. Fukkem. But your family? Just because you were stupid enough to take Prozac or something? Little kids with their entire lives ahead of them?
I don't follow that Catholic nonsense that suicides automatically go to Hell. Sometimes, I think, it just might be the express elevator to Heaven. But, kill your kids? Oh, there is a Special Place in Hell for your dumb fucking ass.
And if I somehow manage to make it to Heaven, I hope I can take the occasional weekend leave to go down there and check out a pitchfork from Supply, and poke you a lot, and take turns turning you on the spit. And I'll bring cold beer, and drink it in front of you.