Sigh...it is a new year, I've been doing this for many of them, yet still, folks drop by and expect me to give a shit.
People, there are only two readers I truly give a shit what they think about, neither of them are family, and my family (my kids) read here. Do you really think I'd lie?
Oh, and yeah, people give me money. For my writing. I do pretty well. What do you get for writing your shitty blog? Or your fairly adequate yet as exciting as unsalted Cream of Wheat blog?
Yeah, thought so. Insert lame excuse here.
My steady customers give me money, which I detect as applause, which drives me A) to provide the best content I can muster and B) continue to be myself, which they seem to like. As if I could be anything else...
Teh Intarweb is full of, has more than its share of liars and poseurs and bunkum. I could no more do that than I could staple my nads together. Hope you winced. I did.
Fuck with me in person, and die with a surprised look on your face. It's that simple. Among other things, this blog is the therapy some of you have suggested I very much need. It is my playpen, my toys, and if you piss me off, I will bonk you on the head with my firetruck and Bob The Builder hammer until you shit your nappies.
Gosh, but there are some limp-wristed dog-fucking shitheads out there. That is the blessing of teh intarwebs, realizing that you are surrounded by Eloi and Morlocks, and variants thereof. Just like not all people who own cars should be allowed to drive, not everybody with a modem should be allowed to sit at the adult table. Sure, play poker, and such, but golly, have you seined the comments section of blogs lately?
You get a net full of turds, and the occasional silvery fish is gasping its last, covered in turd slime.
The retardo-punditry (I'm looking at you, O'Reilly) loves to whine about 'The Bloggers', but it is the festering retards that make up the blogger's commentariat (except for mine, of course) that are the frightening problem.
Actually, that is unfair to retards. I have cared for and spoken to many of them, and as they achieve maturity, they all will tell you they know they are damaged...somehow less than.
Intarweb retards run around being confidently wrong, at the top of their shrill, out of tune voices.
Anyway, my rules here are simple. Pretty much: don't take the Lord's name in vain and do not insult my family. Can anybody think of other rules I have? I've done this for so long, I forget the 'back in the day' stuff.
Oh well, that's about as much pus as I can squeeze from this boil, so I'm gonna go play with my kids and drink a Jack In The Box shake.
Chocolate, hold the pus...