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  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

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        Saturday, January 12, 2008

    What Was I Gonna Say?

    Senor moment. When you try to forget the infestation of Mexican crab lice infesting America's 'entry points (wink wink...).

    As opposed to me forgetting what I was gonna say. Crap, I had a title for it, and everything, and then the magnetic field of the earth changed because of the latest barrage from the sun, and suddenly, it is all 'shit, what was I gonna say...' and 'damn, where'd I leave my beer...'

    Ever notice how your kids only come around on significant days of celebration? Holidays, and such? Once they're grown, I mean. Fuckers.
    Oh sure, it's all 'Dad, you are welcome to visit any time', knowing how the magnetic attraction of the earth sucks my ass down into the couch.

    You'll miss me when I'm dead! Which will compete with the guilt of relief...

    That is how head doctors make a living.

    I try to avoid them. Head doctors, I mean. I think I make them nervous. When I tell the truth. When I've had to take IQ tests for employment, or when my parents made me because I did so badly in school they thought I was retarded...well, I blow the tests out of the water. I got the highest ASVAB they'd ever seen in the tri-state area of Oklahoma, Texas, and Arkansas. Of course, that's kinda like kicking a retard's ass, but still...

    They offered me the world. West Point. Flight school. Anything. I pointed at the poster of the soldier rising up out of the swamp, mud and water dripping off he and his rifle (see? I wrote pretty much this same paragraph years ago...I'm getting stale) and I said I wanted that. That I could get all of that other crap in the civilian world, but there was only one place I could get reeeeel Army training, SIR!

    So I became a grunt. So, not so smart now, eh?

    And I'd do it all over again, except the getting crippled for life part. Best years of my life.

    Well, enough about me...what do you think about me? HA! One of the best lines in the entire history of film. Recall who said it, in what movie? Without Googling? You cheating fuck?

    Anyway, the wife is off with another man right now, getting the defroster that went kablooie on her car fixed. Good thing I'm not insecure. Good thing she understands my 'choke to death on his severed cock' rule.

    It is a good thing to set parameters...