...I was checking the wife's oil last night, and I think I may have blown a rotator cuff. Hope not, but ow. She can barely move her jaw today, so we're even.
And Wendy just emailed me and asked me to tell ya'll to shut the fuck up and quit emailing her, she knows already, and is working on it.
This is the weirdest hobby I have ever had. And it's free! Well, except for the fee to have the internet.
Oh, the wife's oil was just fine. Mighty fine. I put the tip of my dipstick up against her G-Spot there near the end of the festivities, and flexed the head of it (Kegels) against it, and she became a madwoman for a bit. Still has a bit of a stutter. I'm a great mechanic.
Thank God for Ibuprofen. And thank God for C-sections. Certain portions of the wife are tighter and firmer than a 15 year old girl's. Thank you, Jesus, for that which I have received, and for making me still able to receive it.
You ever say grace over a pussy before you eat it? Thank God for it, all of it, the woman, from head to toe? The Bible says to give thanks in all things, so why wouldn't you give thanks for His greatest gift of all? And no, shrieking 'Oh God Oh God' over and over doesn't count.
Thank you, oh Lord, for my penis. And for her vagina. And her tits. And ass. And mouth, oh Lord. I thank you for this playground you have given us to frisk about on, to ride and to hold, amen.
Write out that prayer, and post it on your fridge. Use it as a bookmark in your Bible.
Praise God for pussy!