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        Wednesday, November 21, 2007

    Screw You...Move...

    I have been hearing people on the radio and the blogs whining about how tough travel is this time of year. Fuck ya'll. You couldn't get me to travel at this time of year for love nor money. Where's the rule that says you have to pack yourself into a tube full of fellow meat and risk life and limb, and then get back home with a new virus and spread it all over your town?

    I wanna see all the 'oh shit!' looks on the faces of people in a flying meat tube when Al Queda blows a wing off with a ground to air missile. 'Hey, maybe we still are at war...' cue screaming sounds.

    And who needs missiles, when Mother Nature is perfectly happy icing up the wings of your plane herself? That bitch nearly got me in Denver Colorado, one stormy December night. Fortunately, even the pilot freaked out, and I stayed for free in a hotel for a few days. Comped by TWA.

    I joined the military just to get away from Oklahoma winters, as that was my only option at the time. So I know it can be done. I will choose to not live in a place where you will die if the normal accouterments of civilization fail. Nor will I travel through such.

    Join me, won't you, in celebrating how we fucked over the indians? Thanks for the land, indians...shoulda fought harder. If ever there was an illustration of the superiority of the white race over aboriginal peoples, this was it. Even when some of the white tribes turned against other white tribes, and tried like heck to bring the indians up to speed to help them conquer the white tribes, they couldn't do it, and ended up doing the Ghost Dance until white men got bored with it and shot them.

    As a student of history, especially of the Westward Expansion (which fascinates is a model that anyone would be wise to follow should they desire the low-impact conquering of a country) I find it fascinating to see how many opportunities the Red Man had to repulse and destroy the invading white tribes. And they blew it, every time.

    I'm gonna close here by destroying one myth, which is that we got corn from the indians. The Pilgrims found the stash of indian corn, dug it up, and over the decades the white man took the tiny little gnarled ears of 'indian corn', and bred and recrossed the strains until we now have the big yellow ears of corn that give us so much bounty today. Everything the white man touched, ended up improved.

    So, for this week, I give thanks that the indians were so lame. If the Apaches, and the tremendous indian cavalrymen from the plains had set aside their differences...if the great indian nations of the eastern United States had paid attention and been capable of learning, this would be an indian nation, now.

    Thankfully, they were, indeed, like savage children. So they failed.

    Happy Thanksgiving!