...and I'm sure several of you said 'she'ah, right' and fingered me for a lying asshole. I said I could kill you with a bowl of noodles. Here's how even a woman can do it:
Picture your standard noodle bowl. Either heavy ceramic, light porcelain, or plastic, depending on the quality of the restaurant.
Now, palm the bowl, full of near-boiling noodles, stand up and grab your target by the back of the head and slam the bowl into their face, as hard as you can. Use the front of their skull to crack the bowl. You should have pre-weighed the bowl (by feel, not with a scale, dummy) to determine how much force to use. You do not want to end up with a palm-full of porcelain splinters, and your own severed nerves making you a cripple.
Catch whatever portion of the splintered bowl that you can, and cut their carotid with it on a downward slice, including the larynx, so you don't have to listen to all that screaming.
Blinded by hot noodles, their mouth and nose plugged with them, and bleeding to death within three minutes or so...
I win. Extra points for chopsticks to the brain via eye or ear holes.
Note: works with oatmeal or cold cereal, too.
Pretty much any thick-based cup or glass will work, too. Palm it (the base, into your palm. that's why it's called 'palming') and slam it into their face. Pull back as soon as your elbow senses it wants to follow through, or you could hurt yourself. The heavy plastic cups/mugs work great, too.
See how easy this is?