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  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

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        Thursday, January 04, 2007

    Sniffing Goo...

    C'mon, you know you do it. It's irresistible. Your finger pokes through the toilet paper, and what's the first thing you do? Riiiight, sniff that puppy.

    I like to check out the belly-button lint, too. Mostly it's neutral, harmless as baby bunny fur, but sometimes...

    I just cleaned some fungeetus from under a fingernail with my Emergency Nail File, that I keep under the monitor for such occasions. Whew! Did that come outta my nose, or outta my ass?
    Makes you leery of ever touching a light switch or using a public restroom again. You pray over your food? Me, I pray over the toilet seat in the mall.

    "Oh Dear Lord, please do not let the ass-pustules of the last leper to have used this seat infest my hindquarters. Amen."

    The stuff you dig out from your behind the ear crack is especially pungent. Roquefort quality. But with more of a Gouda texture.

    Funny, people who gag over a diaper change, will sniff their own used dental floss. And...and this is the first time I have ever asked this question in my life, or even thought about it...

    Do you broads check out your used Tampoons and pads? For texture and consistency? Yeast? Do you rate them? Is there a scale? I would imagine that the full moon affects your tides, somewhat. You should chart that.

    Oh c'mon, you've never seen a guy dangle a used condom, on the way to the bathroom, and shake it a little all deedle deedle deedle, like a lab tech with a test tube?

    Texture and consistency and color are as important as launch speed and technical delivery. Though I cannot use them, as it jams back up inside, and 'chokes my chicken', as it were...oh...

    I'm sorry, have I stepped inside your comfort zone?


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