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  • Racial Stereotypes...

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        Tuesday, January 09, 2007

    Racial Stereotypes...

    Everybody tries to deny they exist, and as if we are all the same regardless of race, creed, or whatever...


    And like I really care if I 'get into trouble' by what I say. Ever been in a theatre watching a horror movie with black people in the audience? That's worth the price of admission, right there. Attend a black church. ANY black church. The gals (though I've seen a guy do it once or twice) do a thing called 'Falling Out', and that's just what they do. And I saw one big old fat black lady, one time, raising her arms up to Jesus and shivering and shaking and gobbling, and her panties fell down around her ankles (and folks, you could have brought home a good half dozen big watermelons in those) and then she Fell Out and her skirt hitched up, and a crowd of women descended upon her to repair things, but not before I saw...

    I was in a doctor's office waiting room one time, and this big black woman turned from the receptionist to come sit down, and this HUGE straight razor fell out from somewhere under her skirt and clattered on the floor. I mean, that thing could have been a folding machete. She grunted as she slowly bent over and picked it up, then disappeared it back up her skirt somewhere, and she sat down and waited placidly.

    I got on famously with Southern blacks, when I was in the military (and when I lived there, too) but I have no use for Yankee blacks. Yankees of any stripe, for that matter. Except Vermonters and Mainers. For some reason, those people tickle me. Not too many black ones, though, unless you count the Somalis, who just take their shitty country with them wherever they go.
    Don't get me started on California blacks. Blacks in other places hate them.

    And I think gooks in general are better at math than other races. Look at Wendy. A damn math genius. I look at a page of equations, and my brain begins to shut down. Hers kicks to life and sets to work.
    Y'all know it's true. And they do that 'hive mind' thing better than anybody.

    And then there's White People. Never liked them much. The O Positive of DNA; mix well with anything, and takes on their characteristics.

    It is my considered opinion that all of the so-called other races are merely subsets of blacks, whites, and asiatics. Except for American Indians. They are just proof that niggers fuck buffalo.
    HA! I just wanted to say that. It was probably cowboys fuckin the buffalo.

    The only time I think about my own whiteness is when I catch a glimpse of my naked white ass in the mirror, and think to myself 'Damn, that is one white, hairy ass'. Or when I catch the eye of a person of another color, and note two things: they are actively hatin on me, and they have no idea of anything about me.
    I see five young white guys with their hats on backwards, sporting gangsta clothes, be-bopping towards me in a park at night, I'm gonna take the safety off on my pistol just as quick as if they were any other color. All assholes are brown, but not all assholes are brown, if you get my drift.

    Well, I think I've spread enough joy and brotherly love for one day. Don't be a hater, leave that to the professionals.

    Like me.