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  • Merry Christmas, I Guess...

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        Sunday, December 24, 2006

    Merry Christmas, I Guess...

    My Dad just called. Mom's got the trots, so they're begging out of having us come over for dinner and presents tonight. Should I feel guilty about feeling relieved?

    I get true joy from watching the kids celebrate. Even the wife, who is still a kid about all of this, but I am more like the scary ghost in the Scrooge story. I could never actually be Scrooge, because I could never be a miser. When I've got it, everybody's got it.
    That's one thing that touches me so much whenever any of you gives me anything, because I know the joy it would give me if things were reversed, and I envy you that feeling you just had.

    Someone special to me was on the phone with Nattie yesterday, and they asked her about the presents under her tree, and Nattie looked confused, like, are you stupid? Then she informed the caller that of course not, Santa hasn't brought them yet.
    Even though they've both seen boxes arrive via UPS, we spirit them away, so, out of sight= out of mind, and Santa will bring them all tonight, while they squirm in their beds, asleep, and anticipating...

    They fully accept that people (including us) send gifts to Santa to bring to them on Christmas Eve, but they know that Santa is Quality Control, and looks the presents over to make sure they're not crap, then sprinkles elf dandruff on them and wraps them up nice and delivers them, except for the ones he has to throw away because she lied or hit her brother, or because he didn't do his chores.

    Santa has had to throw away a lot of presents this year. Too bad about that pony, Little Missy.


    Well, ya'll just go on out and have the very Merriest Christmas ya'll can have. Livey? Good on ya for going to church, even though it's the wrong kind. I used to sneak into the Catholic church myself, upon occasion, because if you're looking for ooga booga, nobody does it better. Sometimes there's comfort in centuries old ritual. I think much of the noise and hoopla the new churches engage in today is unseemly. And a full drum kit? Gimme a break...

    So, enjoy your rum or your brandy in your egg nog, folks, stay off those snowy roads if you gottem, and snuggle with whomever you have handy. Turn the TV and the lights off, sit by candlelight, and listen to soft music. Or just the quiet of the night. Even if He wasn't born on this particular night, I give thanks that He was born, and this is just as good a night as any, I suppose.

    A Christmas cookie, and some Christmas nookie, and I'll be set. Wake up sore in the morning, and watch the kids rampantly consumerize. Love it.

    Merry Christmas to all!, and to all something good and tight!