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        Saturday, December 30, 2006

    It's Too Quiet Down There...

    I was thinking that a bit ago, so I crept down to ambush the little turds, and there they were, surrounded by Tinkertoys, making stuff, just a concentrating away. Being creative. Sharing. Weird.

    Last night we went over to my parent's house for the postponed Christmas dinner. My sister was there, too. We all exchanged gifts, after. I passed out the gifts, and Nat got one thing, and everybody else got more, and then we reached the end of the gifting, and Nat still only had one thing, and she was all like 'is that it?' and I said yep, sorry, you gonna cry? and why yes, yes she was, and we all had a good laugh over that one.

    Her volume intensified, and when we all agreed her suffering had amused us enough, we rolled out the big box and slid it in front of her. The siren wound down. Johnny is pretty copacetic even at the worst of times, and he hadn't gotten much, either, but he was being a happy boy. My Sis rolled a big round container to him and said this is for you both, and they both leaped on it like leopards on a wildebeest.

    Wrapping flew as if in an explosion, and Sis had gotten them the Big Tub O' Tinkertoys from Costco. I had wanted to get it for them, but it was dear, and we had shot our Christmas wad by then, so this was really cool.
    Then Nat pounced on the big box. Now, I haven't counted them yet, but I'm guessing there were like 15 or so Polly Pocket houses and sets in there, a couple for the larger (4"?) Polly's, but the rest were for those teensy ones. And you know me, I love Polly Pockets, so we were both digging in and going crazy, but her delighted squealing was louder than mine, and higher pitched, let me assure you.

    You gotta see these houses. Go to eBay and type in 'Polly Pocket house' and look. Two of them were castles. These just may be the cleverest things I have ever seen. The wife sat on the couch with the big castle and ooo'd and ahhh'd every time she found something new it did. Little hidden chambers and tricks everywhere.

    So, the kids are downstairs now, sitting in the middle of Polly Pocketon, surrounded by luxury midget housing, assembling vehicles of varied and bizarre configurations from Tinkertoys, and just generally in hog heaven.
    Oh, and Johnny got a tank. And not just any tank, but one of those full-sized (well...large) GI Joe tanks. It looks kinda like a British Crusader to me. My Dad really scored with this one. He was nervous about giving it to Johnny, because I have chewed his ass enough times for giving the kids age inappropriate toys.

    So, beforehand, he's acting all whispery and conspiratorial with me, trying to tell me what it is and 'get my permission' and I just wave him off and say whatever, it'll be fine, so Johnny gets a collectors edition tank that electrically fires bullets.

    It is a rare thing to find one of these that still has all of its ammunition. Most kids lose them ten minutes after opening the package. But on this tank, you unfold this plate on the back, behind the turret, and pull up this pistol grip, and as you turn it, the turret turns, and then you press a button, and POW, fire off a round into your sisters eye. A little knob on the top makes the Commander's cupola spin around, with him in it. WAY cool. And it comes with a driver and a gunner, too! I'm tempted to kick his ass, and take it.

    Well, the wife is at work, the world is burying two turds today (rendering all news channels more unwatchable than usual) there is peace in my house, and I got a great night's sleep. The wife anointed my room and prayed over me, and I slept like a baby. Meaning I pissed the bed.

    Ha! Just kidding! But I did skid up my shorts something fierce, at some point.