...it's because you suck.
Ha! I kill me! While you kill yourself!
Just kidding, you don't suck, you just need more persimmon cookies. Nothing like developing a sucking butt-wound to take your mind off of your other petty troubles, most of them which are, where? Right! In the past!
And what is the first rule of Italian Driving, children? Right! What's behind you does not matter! So, tear off that rear-view mirror, toss it out the car window, and drive on...
So much for Dr Phil. I hope he can find gainful employment now that I've replaced him.
You see what a steady, early morning diet of Sponge Bob and Jimmy Neutron and that glass of wine I left out on the counter last night and would just hate to see go to waste gets you?
Yes, the wife's at work. Yes, I'm 'parenting'.
Prognosis is not good.
Now, where's my aluminum pitcher...