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  • I Don't Jack Off In The Bathroom Sink Anymore...



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  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

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        Friday, April 28, 2006

    I Don't Jack Off In The Bathroom Sink Anymore...

    ...now that I have another batch of kids. Or in the shower, for that matter. Thinking of Nat getting Munchkinhausen By Dad Proxy gives me the creeps. I know my sperms wear capes, and can leap tall hymens with a single bound.

    I have oft said that I can impregnate an entire girls dorm full of lusty, fecund coeds, simply by masturbating upwind of them. Ladies, if you hot tub with me, wear a cup. Douche with Clorox, after. Or prepare to be inseminallated.

    On whacking in the sink: the little Nerf-Herders brush their teeth in there, and drop their toothbrushes all the time. Flagellate your Bishop into a silk sock, like God intended (to keep it off the ground, dontcha know...hey, if Jews can have little boxes of scripture taped to their heads, I can be right about the silk sock) but keep your spooge out of the public areas.

    I can't imagine taking a shower in a coed dorm these days. The Hazmat suit would interfere.

    I'm up for some new phrases for masturbation.

    How about 'Spanking the Imam'? Pulling The Prophet (spunk on his unholy name). Jerkin the Jihadi. For the ladies? Mutilating The Clitoris. What else? Play along!

    I would love to capture some terrorist fuck, tie him down, prop open his mouth with dental accessories, and have a menstruating woman squat over his face and drip down his throat. Give her plenty of beer, and let her piss in his face as neccesary.

    Hey, food and water, right there. Geneva convention for terrorists.

    I hope I made some Arab fuck puke, just now, and charge in rage at a column of Marines.

    Bye, buttfuck.


    .




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