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  • This is my Blog...There are many like it, but this one is mine...

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        Friday, February 10, 2006

    Pancakes For Dinner...

    ...because life is too short for all the dumb shit...

    I am a strict disciplinarian. I have rules, and I enforce them, violently, if necessary. Smite your sibling, and taste my wrath. Steal, and I'll break some of your shit. Ask me for a piece of cake for breakfast and...hey, why the heck not?

    We could all die, pan-fried in a nuclear flash, tomorrow, so why sweat the dumb shit today? You want waffles for dinner? Why not? I like steak for lunch, because I don't like to go to bed feeling like a Boa Constrictor full of pygmy.

    And screw all of that artificial 'breakfast lunch dinner' crap. The Hobbits, though they were pigs, had it right. Eat what you want, when you want. I don't feed the kids until they beg me for food. Why waste food, and when they ask for it, you know they're ready for it.
    That was so hard to train into the wife, because she was as tainted by the OCD Ritualism most other Americans are. Like Rain Man. "Toothpicks go with the syrup!" Gotta go to church on Sunday! (or Saturday, if yer some sort of freakish cultist). All of the little rules we are brainwashed into from birth, by noon whistles, and hallway bells, and the lines they make us stand in.

    Fuck that.

    It used to make them nuts at work when I took my lunch at 2pm. I don't get hungry at noon, and I don't want to mill around with all of the other sheep in 'lunch hour traffic', and sit with dozens of harried assholes in stinking drive-thrus. And it makes the day feel so much shorter, when they make me leave at 5pm with all of the other cattle, lowing and punching their time cards.

    My kids have put themselves on their own meal and snack schedule. We serve mostly a la carte, with one mandatory meal that contains a spectrum of meat(s) and vegetables. I use good chocolate and jelly beans for reward, and incentive, and because a fucking kid needs their damn candy, dammit. Just because.

    My kids nap themselves. I have taught them the value of the Siesta, and they embrace it. Around 3pm, they shut down kid operations, and either nap, or rest quietly, for an hour or so. I sometimes have to wake them up because I feel they've been out long enough.

    I'll keep them up til 10pm if I want, say, watching Survivor on DVR. Every other Thursday, the wife and I trade kids, and we watch it as a family, us cuddling our special kid for that evening. They make nests for us beforehand, on our separate couches.

    After pancakes, of course.




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