Iron Chef, Critiqued...

Iron Chef America is on right now. The kids are riveted. We adults love it, too.

But there is something wrong.

If these guys cook in restaurants, they should be doing it in a restaurant. With a real crowd, and not a bunch of simpering sycophants that are going to preen, and mug like chimps for the camera.

And fuck one hour. One whole normal shift they would work normally, minimum, is what they should be doing. You can't do certain foods in one hour. Maybe a whole week, with different battles.

Battle Dessert. Battle Breakfast.

I can pretty much guarantee you that if you give me all day to make spaghetti sauce, and you only get an hour, my sauce is gonna kick your sauce's ass.

Battle Roast. Battle Crock-Pot. Battle Roulade.

One battle would give you weeks worth of shows, which seems pretty damn cost effective.

And mix up the audience/tasters/judges. Bring in a crowd of truckers for Battle French, and a bunch of highbrows for Battle Southern Cooking.

Rate the chefs, and have the waiters and staff rate the chefs, too. Is this guy such a flaming asshole they all hate him? Does he get others to do all his work? Do 'Survivor' type interviews, and let them dish on camera. In the middle of the week, or better yet, just before a major battle, switch all of his or her staff, and put a million dollars on the outcome.

Sell tickets on line to become audience members/tasters/judges. Scour the country for cooks and chefs who can cook and chef to beat the band...their restaurant parking lot is always full, and reservations are needed and a bitch to get. Then throw them up against one of these Iron Chef Superstars.

Okay, Iron Chef Whoever, you've made it, now let's see how you stand up against a hungry unknown.

I would so watch the shit out of a show like that.


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