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        Sunday, February 29, 2004

    Not Watching The Oscars...

    Ever.

    And not missing a damn thing.





       

    Rush Is Right!

    He is always remarking on crap like this.

    The frigging SUV did it in the parlor with a candlestick. Somehow it managed to drive itself 8.5 miles with a Kraut wedged in it's suspension.

    Speaking of, what kind of freak name is Fitsum Gebreegziabher, anyway? If the SUV is found to be innocent, I suspect suicide.





       

    What's The Big Deal?

    They already have these...

    They're called 'Russian Female Athletes'.





       

    What's Next?

    Are we going to send in the Marines to prop up this asshole?

    I'm torn on my feelings about Hatey, and the Marines being sent there today to protect the estimated 20,000 Americans living there. Why not just pass out 20,000 rifles to them? That's a pretty big force!

    On the other hand, 500 Marines can kill a lot of Hate-ians, and that's a bonus, for sure.

    I'm torn.

    Qadaffy is learning to play well with others, even if it is to save his own sorry Terrorist For Life ass. As long as he remains an asset (and believe me, having our own pet terrorist leader is one heck of an asset), I think we should do whatever is needed to prop him up and stabilize Libya.

    The 'Shores of Tripoli' all over again...





        Saturday, February 28, 2004

    In The Vomitorium...

    Nothing like waking up in the middle of a great nap to the sounds of your three year old squawking horribly, and then bursting into the kids' room to find her standing on her brothers bed, covered in puke, snot, tears, and chunks of salami.

    She was screaming that the little shit wasn't letting her get any kleenex to wipe herself up with and indeed, he had the box hoarded away from her and I went heavily R. Lee Ermey on their worthless little grabastic pieces of shit carcasses and they stared death and mutilation in the face as I began to shriek (in a manly way) for the wife and I picked her snot infested, salami chunk dripping little ass up and held her out in front of me as we launched for the tub and, did I mention she has a cold? Yes, between her bed and his bed and me we were sharing roughly five gallons of rotten tapioca snot she had been swallowing no doubt for days even though she has gone through four boxes of kleenex one after the other as she has to wipe her little button nose daintily if a booger even thinks of dripping out of her...

    Fuck me running.

    Did I mention the four thousand pieces of postage stamp sized salami chunks? And the partially digested bread? The milk? Now curdled and yoghurt-like and trying desperately to mate with the snot? Strung like Silly-Puke around the room because she didn't have the sense to stay in her own mess and squawk?

    Ohhhhh, and the brother...I warmed his smirking little sister-teasing, kleenex-hiding ass for him, I'll tell ya. I full-contact smacked his scrawny butt cheeks, and he was grinning at me, so I figured it must be the R. Lee so I turned it off and went into Nicholson and began to act crazy about throwing all of his toys out into the back marsh with all of the snakes and the crocodiles and that got the little bastard sniffling Ha Ha! and I stomped around cleaning up sheets and blankets and bears and clothes and hats and kleenex balls and little suppurating puddles of regurgitant everywhere a staggering little Puke-Bird Sprinkler blinded by tears and salami chunks could deposit them.

    Got to hear the wife getting in touch with R. Lee's feminine side in the bathroom with the daughter...that made me smile..."What were you thinking!! You don't get up and outta bed with puke on you missy!! Now, Let me hear you say it: 'Daddy, I puked...come help me!!'...SAY IT!!"

    Thank you for letting me share.





       

    Well, It's...

    ...a start.





       

    Our Russian Friends...

    More perfidy from our dear friends?

    ...which is leading to this?

    Ahhh, we are living in interesting times. Add to this story the recent sale of specially equipped long range strike fighters to Israel, and the Mad Mullahs must be Watching The Skies about now.





       

    His Faithful Servant...

    Someone sent this to me, and it made me smile:

    The Atheist and the Marine

    An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

    Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying,"Here I am, God. I'm still waiting." He got down to the last couple of minutes and a Marine just released from active duty, and newly registered in the class, walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform.

    The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

    The Marine replied, "God was busy; He sent me."


    Semper Fi





       

    Hatey...

    Legend has it that in the year 1804, Haitians sold the island to The Devil for 200 years if he would get rid of the French for them.

    That would explain a lot. That we have sent in Marines several times to prop up genuinely evil dictators is a large blot on the soul of America.

    The closer you look at the convoluted workings of Haitian politics, and it's 'governments' entwinement with US business interests and wealthy families, the dirtier you feel. We have Haitian blood up to our elbows, not that I really give a shit. Oh, shame on me.

    Haiti makes third world countries look prosperous and progressive, yet, just on the other side of the same damn island, the Dominican Republic prospers...same black people, same root stock, so you can't blame the negroes.

    I wouldn't give a shit about Haiti if it wasn't for the fact that there are (at least) fifty good Marines there right now, and may God bless them and bring them home from that hellhole in one piece. Heck, fifty Marines could take the whole damn island. Papa Doc was ready to flee in his plane when eight mercenaries attacked him one time.

    Aristide is a monster, but I sure would like to know who is sponsoring the 'rebels'...info is suspiciously lacking on this latest upheaval.






        Friday, February 27, 2004

    On Homelessness...

    Lee over at Right-Thinking has some thoughts.

    I have some thoughts of my own that may surprise you. First let me tell you that I hate the homeless, and would cheerfully pack them off in cattle cars to be gassed. Now that we've cleared that up...

    There always has been an underclass that are either unwilling or unable to contribute to the society they leach off of.
    Accepting this premise, we must also accept that civilized human nature has more of an impulse to drop the pennies into the cup rather than club the miscreant to death.

    So, we have a problem, and problems require solutions. Not doing anything at all can be a solution, believe it or not. At the other end of that spectrum, regulating the piss out of a thing, forming government bureaucracies and throwing billions at it is a solution.

    Those of you who have read my stuff from the beginning already know the solution I support; choose safe, secure places to set up tent cities for them to live. Separate with barriers the lunatics from the alcoholics, separate quarters for the drug addicts, separate quarters for newly homeless families.

    Staff the tent city with retired guards and police, mixed with trainees who will then cycle out into the state's mental facilities, prisons and freeways to work as guards and State Troopers.

    This country is wealthy, and our government is wealthy from taxes. Say what you want about taxes, but they are inevitable. Short of an armed revolution, you have to accept taxes as a reality.

    Why not centralize the money, and take away the necessity of funding from states and cities? If they can show a problem and a need, a request to FEMA (who would be perfect to umbrella such an organization) would send out a survey team, and then erect a tent city and provide every service someone who wishes to opt out of society can live comfortably, but cannot clutter up the property of productive citizens.

    High performing homeless types, or people who just want to opt out, who don't want to compete anymore, can just be given a federal welfare card and lay back in subsidized housing. While being a holder of this card, you voluntarily suspend your right to vote, along with (perhaps) other rights and priveleges to be announced because I am just writing this off the top of my head.

    I mean it. Quit the sham of unemployment, and all of the other governmental nonsense that surrounds a drastic life change. Just give the American Citizen the option to stay home and survive, just barely, at the level they need to be at to stay off the streets and still keep basic cable and buy some cheap beer.

    I mean it. Turn that aid money around that is going to countries that hate us (Palestinians, for fucks sake!!) and turn it inward on our population.

    Update:

    I think this would also provide a near-perfect solution for the pervasive problem of teen homelessness, where they are victimized by pimps and other assholes.

    Provide a safe destination for them, plenty of counseling, law enforcement to deal with their complaints of molest and liaison between the kids' police departments of origin...and keep them separated from predatory adults.

    And keep the fucking priests out.

    Bottom Line: Shit happens, and we need to design an efficient machine to deal with the homeless and keep them from panhandling, thieving, and just generally disrupting the homes and businesses and lives of productive Americans.

    I can remember a time when this didn't go on. It was a good time. If it takes a pile of money to solve it, it's time to pony up.

    Of course, the activists who fought to get the homeless out of institutions and onto the streets in the first place will try their shit again.

    Those, we kill.





       

    It's Making Me Wet!!

    This is the Coolest Website Ever! So far, this is my favorite part of it, but I've been digging this, too.

    This is just fantastic!





       

    And Now For Something Completely Different...

    Breath...

    [turn your speakers up]





       

    Another Thread Gets Wacky...

    Bill over at Bloviating Inanities suggested I post this, so, why not...free filler:

    I never get zits, but the other day I got two, one on my forehead near the hairline, and another one low on my ass. I pondered busting them both at the same time, but I worried that I might just explode like one of those party poppers. As an aside, wives hate it when you ask them to bust your butt-boil cuz you can't see it.
    Also, standing on the bathroom counter to see your ass in the mirror is dangerous, and can result in some minor damage, but your kids will just laugh and laugh.

    Posted by Bane at February 26, 2004 03:15 PM


    The blackboard thing never bothered me. The whole class would cringe en masse when I passed a blackboard, and sometimes I would, and sometimes I wouldn't...ahhhh, the Power.

    But wood...yeesh, popsicle sticks, tongue depressors, wooden spoons...just writing this makes me want to puke. I don't like wood in my mouth.

    Posted by Bane at February 26, 2004 03:19 PM


    You're a freak, Bane.

    Posted by Bill at February 26, 2004 04:29 PM


    I would give good money to see Bane with a wooden spoon stuck in his mouth.

    Posted by Madonna at February 26, 2004 04:41 PM


    Just reading that line made me gag. I'm gonna name my next boil Madonna if you don't watch out.

    Posted by Bane at February 26, 2004 06:40 PM


    I think I heard somewhere that the white gooey stuff is puss which is actually just dead little white cells that have banzai charged all the really gross bacteria living in the billions of little holes all over our bodies.

    So it's sort of like 'burial on mirror'. Have a bit more respect as you make that face and wipe them away before casting them in the toilet for the oblivion of a sewer entombment. They gave their little lives for you, you ungrateful bastard.

    A worse sound than braces on a chalkboard is a scream - and that would be your own as the braces get tangled in your pubies. That's way worse. Fortunately that hasn't happened in over 25 years.

    Posted by Wind Rider at February 27, 2004 07:39 AM


    Bane, you are just too kind to me.
    WR you are one sick puppy. Actually, are you and Bane the same person ?

    Posted by Madonna at February 27, 2004 09:02 AM


    No. My braces story involve hers getting stuck in the living room rug and my parents are about to come home and I don't know what to do so I call her best girlfriend who rushes over with a pair of cuticle scissors and trims the rug away from her braces and they both leave crying and I have to make up this lame story to explain why there's a 'chewed by wolverines' looking patch out of the carpet in front of the fireplace...and why it's wet.

    Posted by Bane at February 27, 2004 11:47 AM


    Dear God, you're a sick bastard, Bane. You need to post that shit. It's classic.

    But the real reason I'm commenting it to make it an even 20 comments.

    Posted by Bill at February 27, 2004 01:33 PM


    I want to know when you developed your fear of wood.

    Posted by Madonna at February 27, 2004 01:34 PM


    Honestly? It may have been from my very early childhood when doctors were God and could be as abusive as they want to little kids and get away with it. I have memories from as early as six months old, and I can recall being very little and having ham-handed bullies in white with large glaring silver discs on their heads digging a huge board around in my throat making me gag and then slapping me and telling me "don't be such a baby!" and fuck! I WAS a damn baby...

    Dammit.

    Posted by Bane at February 27, 2004 01:45 PM


    So there...and if you go to Bill's site to post, be gentle...he's very sensitive and caring, and easily hurt.





        Thursday, February 26, 2004

    The Goddess Ann Speaks!

    Go, and worship...





       

    The Last Nail...

    Go to this website and scroll down to read this fresh if you want, but I am going to post it here in case yellow on black print hurts your eyes as much as it did mine.

    Read on:

    My wife had rotator cuff surgery earlier this year, and the recovery is terribly painful. Then, she developed a staph-epi infection, and they had to cut the same scar open and operate on her again. Just thinking about the pain and anxiety of facing that painful surgery a second time in the same wound, makes me cringe. That experience, however pales in comparison to what I am going through right now, in my heart.

    The old hurts are surfacing and the feelings of betrayal by fellow citizens, and their leader stirring them up, are breaking my heart again. I am being cut in the same scar. How did we who served in Vietnam suddenly become cold-blooded killers, torturers, and rapists, of the ilk of the Nazi SS or the Taliban? Most of us were American soldiers who grew up idolizing John Wayne, Roy Rogers, and all the other heroes. That was why I volunteered. But for political expediency, John Kerry has rewritten history, again. After spending only four months in the country of Vietnam, John Kerry testified before Congress in 1971 with these exact words about incidents he supposedly witnessed or heard about from other vets: ?They personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam."

    I was a green beret officer who volunteered for duty in Vietnam and fought in the thick of it in 1968 and 1969 on a Special Forces A-team on the Ho Chi Minh Trail, just for starters. We were the elite. We saw the most action. Everybody in the world knows that. But we did not just kill people, we built a church, a school, treated illnesses, passed out soap, food, and clothing, and had fun and loving interaction with the indigenous people of Vietnam, just like our boys did in Normandy, Baghdad, Saigon, and everywhere American soldiers ever served. We all gave away our candy bars and rations to kids. Our hearts to oppressed people all over the globe.

    My children and grandchildren could read your words, and think those horrendous things about me, Mr. Kerry. You are a bold-faced, unprincipled liar, and a disgrace, and you have dishonored me and all my fellow Vietnam veterans. Sure, there were a couple bad-apples, but I saw none, and I saw it all, and if I did, as an army officer, it was my obligation to stop it, or at the very least report it. Why is there not a single record anywhere of you ever reporting any incidents like this or having the perpetrators arrested? The answer is simple. You are a liar. Your medals and mine are not a free pass for lifetime, Senator Kerry, to bypass character, integrity, and morality. I earn my green beret over and over daily in all aspects of my life.

    Eight National Guard green berets, and other National Guard soldiers, have been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, and you totally dishonored their widows and families by lumping National Guard service in with being a draft-dodger, conscientious objector, and deserter, just so you can try to sabotage the patriotism of our President who proudly served as an Air National Guard jet pilot. I have a son earning his green beret at Fort Bragg right now, and his wife serves honorably in the Air National Guard, just like President Bush did, and I am as proud of her as I am my son. I volunteered for Vietnam and have no problem whatsoever with President Bush being our Commander-In-Chief. In fact, I am proud of him as our leader.

    John Kerry, you personally derailed the Vietnam Human Rights Bill, HR2883, in 2001, after it had passed the House by a 411 to 1 vote, and thousands of pro-American Montagnard tribespeople in Vietnam died since then who could have been saved, by you. Earlier, as Chair of the Senate Select Committee on MIA/POW Affairs, you personally quashed the efforts of any and all veterans to report sightings of living POW?s, when you held those reins in Congress. You have fought tooth and nail to push for the US to normalize relations with Vietnam for years. Why, Mr. Kerry? Simple, your first cousin C. Stewart Forbes, CEO, of Colliers International, recently signed a contract with Hanoi, worth BILLIONS of dollars for Collier?s International to become the exclusive real estate representative for the country of Vietnam.

    ?Hanoi John,? now that it works for you, you beat your chest about your Vietnam service, but to me, you are a phony, opportunistic, hypocrite. You are one of those politicians that is like a fertilizer machine: all that comes out of you is horse manure, and you are spreading it everywhere.

    Medals do not make a man. Morals do.

    Don Bendell

    Canon City, Colorado


    Right on...





       

    Free Titties...

    Normally I don't post porn, but this looks like art to me.

    It should be a law that women like these go naked 24/7.





       

    A Plug For God...

    You guys seem to be bummed about my unemployment post. I've recieved emails, phone calls, and seen your comments.

    Stop it. God has never ever once let me down. The miracles are too many to mention...the fat checks that arrive in the mail, the job offers out of nowhere, etc.

    If I was an athiest, I would have to conclude that I was the luckiest sonofabitch on the planet, and I've had too much bad luck for that to make any sense.

    Nope, God must like me for some reason, or maybe He just likes my wife and I'm Collateral Damage. Whatever, I accept. God has been very very good to me.

    Speaking of God, my wife just called me from what is apparently a huge line outside of the theatre for the noon showing of 'The Passion' an hour from now. Good thing she bought her ticket a couple of days ago...every show for every day listed in Fandango is sold out.

    I expect her to come home and spend the rest of the day in bed. I wonder if I'll have the guts to see it.





        Wednesday, February 25, 2004

    Unsolicited Publicity...

    A new blog is born. The walls are pretty bare, and there's nothing in the fridge as yet, but what the hey!

    Go break his cherry!





       

    Updates!!!

    There are several down below, so get your lazy finger scrolling (Hint: Gay Marriage).





       

    ENTERPRISE TONIGHT!

    I'll take no job that interferes with that.

    Dammit.





       

    I Want To Make A Point...

    ...that I have made here before. Since none of you slackers read my archives, and I appear to be getting new readers, I'll make it again.

    It is a point of honor to me that I write extemporaneously, as I think of a thing, with very little editing at all. I will sometimes go back and fix spelling errors (I can never spell personnel correctly without looking it up) and (rarely) fix egregious grammar convolutions, but usually, what you see is all you get.

    If I want to write a friggin research paper, I'll go back to college and get credit for it.

    What you get here is a little news, and my opinion about everything. The addition of a comments section takes it perilously close to the type of communal efforts I despise. Squatters tend to move in and take over. I've been guilty of that myself.

    You may note that many posts are only a few minutes apart. That is not me cutting and pasting from elsewhere, that is my brain rattling, and pouring out the bitter swill that has been percolating all day.

    Anyway, have fun, and THINK...IBM had it right.





       

    Update To 'I Almost Agree, But...' post (below)

    The inestimable Vox Day somehow found out about this post from me and this post from Rat Spleen and took us both to task.

    There is still giving and taking going on about this issue...I still think I'm mostly right.

    Duh.

    Interesting times...







       

    Possible Hiatus...

    Well, the Oregon Legislature decided they needed the money more than I did, so, instead of an unemployment check today, I recieved a notice I've been cut off this week instead of the middle of April like I was planning on. Shame, since along with my VA Disability check, we were doing quite well.

    This means that, come tomorrow morning, I hit the bricks running to find some sort of work so the ole family can survive and thrive.

    This also means that blogging will probably be something I cut, or reduce sharply. One has to make time to watch TV now, doesn't one?

    Ah, well...it was fun while it lasted.





        Tuesday, February 24, 2004

    Call Yourself A Conservative?

    Where the fuck are all of these Rush-listening, conservative, entrepreneurial cheerleaders on the Iraq situation?

    Why aren't they putting their money where their mouths are?

    If I inherited/won a pile of money tomorrow, I would be over there lazer-quick with a few Harvard MBA's in tow (and some damn good translators) and I would be starting fast food franchises and businesses right and left...I would start with a big fat Wackenhut or Pinkerton private security franchise staffed by Iraqis.

    This is such a booming, frontier scenario, I cannot believe that there are not hordes of carpetbaggers with piles of disposable income in Iraq right now, pimping everything from pizza to prayer rugs. I would hire only Iraqi's, and turn Baghdad into LA, and be a billionaire inside of five years.

    And the agrarian potential? With links to American farm equipment and chemical companies? Jeezly Crow, you could start at the coast with desalinization plants, work your way inland with canals, making ponds and lakes as you go, and terraform Iraq inside of fifty years.

    Maybe it is all about the oil?





       

    Do You, Bruce, Take This Fag?

    I haven't spoken much on the subject of the current attempt to destroy another sacred institution.

    I really don't want to. It nauseates me, and fans my usual hatred white hot.

    Even as I write this, the douchebag in charge of GLAAD is on Dennis Miller trying to sell fag marriage to the general public. I could leave it alone if they stayed in the closet where they belong.

    They don't, so I won't.

    Generally, I think fucking with the Constitution is a terrible idea. Terrible. But now, I want this thing put to rest once and for all...put to fucking death. A constitutional amendment putting a stake through the heart of this issue is desperately needed to keep these deviant activists face down in the mud where they belong.

    The media aside, there is a huge monster out there waiting to pounce on fagdom...statistics show a good, strong 70% of Americans just hate this shit. And we are still a Democracy. Even a pro-fag liberal like John Kerry is afraid to buck this tide.

    The narcissistic queers, slaves to their nature and their handicap, don't have any choice but to shoot themselves in the foot on this, and shoot they are.

    Shit happens, and it's gonna happen soon.

    Sorry, babe.

    Update:

    I wrote this on another blog, and it will probably be my last word on the subject, unless something interesting comes along:

    Marriage is a timeless, time honored, and sacred institution, blessed by God who appears to have been the first one to perform one and set the standard that it is between a man and a woman.

    I have no problem with the state being involved in it, seeing that the couples are suitable and healthy (medically) for each other, and charging a small fee.

    The life changing nature of marriage, and the fact that it is likely to produce more taxpayers for the state, and the cost of raising and nurturing those taxpayers, makes it obvious that some sort of tax break is the right thing to do for a traditional heterosexual couple who are honoring God and themselves.

    Any other argument against this is just libertarian homo twaddle, and throwing the tragedy of divorce into the mix is a complete red herring.

    Mankind is a fallen and corrupt thing, and destined to fail at every turn, and yet we strive to do good, and set noble goals for ourselves.

    Just because marriages fail, doesn't mean the institution is wrong. Humanity fucks up everything it touches, eventually. You don't kill a ward full of infants because a few of them might grow up to become murderers.


    Yet Another Update:

    Go read Fred Reed on this...I'm surprised to find we are in one accord.

    ANOTHER Update, Dammit:

    I wrote this in another blog, and wish to store it here in case I have to whap some homo over the head with it again:

    Homo writes: Don't use the Bible as a weapon.

    I shall have to hoist Mr Sizer on his own canard...this tired nonsense of bringing up Leviticus is as facile as attempting to discredit the Founding Fathers because they used outhouses and didn't have electricity.

    Unlike the Constitution, the Bible IS a living, breathing document, with a beginning, a middle, and a coming end.

    Jeremiah 31, 28 on says how those Levitican rules were lifted (and Ezekial 18), and Romans 1:21-32 lays out how the Son of God felt about the matter (try Hebrews 8: 8-12 & 10: 8-12 too).

    Since you doubtless have a nice big Bible like Clinton did when it served him, you should be able to see the progression of laws and covenants pertaining to a nomadic people on up into 'modern' Bible times where the gospel began to go out into the world.

    The only consistent theme is that God really does not like homosexual activity.




       

    I Keep Tellin Ya!

    Just another reason, in case you needed one, to hate Mexicans.

    Some supporting evidence...





        Monday, February 23, 2004

    Turd Flu...

    Well, the chickens are coming home to roost...quite literally.

    All of the Greedy Capitalistic Pigs that have hired illegal labor in the border states, specifically Texas, may have just cut loose the first pandemic since 1918 on the American Public.

    Here's how it works:

    Gringo hires Wetbacks, saves money, makes money...

    Ragheads (or other lower life forms) introduce a bammed up version of Avian Flu that is transmittable and fatal to humans into the mass chicken farming population...

    Authorities do what they usually do, show up, which causes said Beaners to scatter to the four winds, each of them becoming a disease vector of their very own.

    Why worry about cropdusters when you can get a trained and experienced 'force' of illegals to carry your pathogen to the four winds to avoid deportation? They will hide better than any commando, and there is an already established 'underground railroad' to support them.

    And this line from the above linked article:

    The strain, found in Gonzales County in South Texas, poses little threat to people, said Dr. Nancy Cox of the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

    Would you by a used car from this woman? Would you bet your life that she is not following long established protocol to avoid panicking the American Sheeple?

    Thought so.

    So, the next time you see a Mexican sneezing and blowing their nose, shoot them.

    Heh...I wish.





       

    Bloviating Fucktard...

    Am I the only one who saw that senile old colostomy bag Andy Rooney shooting off his stroke-stricken mouth last night?

    A mighty wail should be rising up across the land to have his head on a pole, and yet I hear nary a whimper.

    Here is a transcript of his vomit.

    Try not to, yourselves.





       

    Lileks...

    He and I have so much in common it's scary.

    His daugher is called Gnat...mine's Nat. He loves Enterprise...ditto.

    His wife got shafted in her government job. I got shafted in mine.

    Wow.

    Except she just got another job, and he makes money at his writing. I guess we don't really have anything much in common at that...

    Dang.





       

    Bring It On!

    I can think of no strategy better than this to ensure a Bush victory.

    Please, hippies? Show up and raise unholy heck? Pretty please?

    The Silent Majority is watching, and they will roll out in droves to vote for GW to quash just this sort of dissent.





       

    I Almost Agree, But...

    This article is proof that being a genius doesn't mean you can't say stupid shit.

    I was nodding my head in agreement right up to this line:

    Bring them home from Germany, from South Korea and Italy. Bring them home from Kosovo, from Afghanistan and Kuwait, from Turkey, Spain, Iceland and Belgium. Bring them home from Panama, Portugal and Japan. Most of all, bring them home from Iraq. Now.

    And then the coup de grace:

    Our matchless soldiers have won the war – they cannot win the peace.

    What unadulterated twaddle. This is a classic example of talking to hear your brains rattle. Maybe Vox was working under a deadline.

    Folks, there is no peace...peace is merely the intervals between wars. Until Jesus comes, we will be a planet in turmoil, just waiting for the next fire to flare up. This makes Vox's statement all the more painful, he being a self-professed Christian.

    And those countries he mentions that we should 'bring our troops home' from? How many of our troops gave their lives so we could take that real estate in the first place? What future peril will fill the vacuum left by our departure, that a new generation of Americans will have to go and fight and die for again?

    And, hey, let's get practical...how many Mexicans would lose their jobs when the flood of released soldiers enters the US job market?

    Like it or not, most people today entered military service to garner employment, and maybe have a little adventure.

    Let's give them some.






       

    This Isn't Helping My Mood Any...

    Twat...





       

    MAN Am I In A Pissy Mood!

    I just wanna kill a puppy. And then rape it. And do it in front of all the other puppies and scream "YOU'RE NEXT" at them...and then impale them one at a time...yeah, 'Vlad The Puppy Impaler' is what the legends would call me.

    Dammit!

    I probably should not watch an entire evening of the History Channel.

    Are we stupid, or what? Maybe crazy AND stupid? God had His Chosen People raze the lands of His enemies to the ground, and kill anything that moved. He placed a curse on His entire nation if they kept so much as a bag of coins.

    Now, the 'Good Christians' say "Well, Jesus said to 'turn the other cheek' " and "Civilized people wouldn't act that way" and my favorite shit-headism of all time: "America is a melting pot..."

    I can practically hear God screaming "I haven't been able to say a word to you dipshits since my Son died and the temple veil was rent! That's why I left you the book! Can't you fuckers READ???"
    He gave up His Son and left us His Word, we made up religions. Nice trade, God. Sorry.

    So, we let our enemies survive...we make pacts and treaties with them...we let them enter our camps and breed with our sons and daughters...we trade with them...we build them up strong again, because the alternative looks bad on television.

    And they grow strong again, and the curse of their survival will be on us and our children.

    Only the Japanese surrendered utterly. They were defeated, and knew it, and, as much as I hate it that we didn't glaze their islands, it seems to be working out.

    But we now face Europe, Mexico, Islam, China, Russia, and most of Africa as they form dark alliances, and proceed with arcane machinations designed, not just our ruin, but ultimately, for our humiliation.

    We are being gnawed at from within and without, and the roiling clouds on the horizon approach with a terrible purpose.

    But hey, I got cable!





        Sunday, February 22, 2004

    One Plus One=mc2...

    Well, The Wife and I spent most of yesterday getting the boy and his bed out of her room and back into his old room with his sister. He went through a bad phase of sleep apnea, and she felt it best to keep him beside her at night. Finally, though, the sleep deprivation got to her, and he's doing better, so she reclaimed her room.

    He got a new full-size twin bed, and Thunder-Bunny lost the crib and gained his toddler bed.

    Putting those two together is like making anti-matter, but my dog training skills were put to good effect. They are napping quietly, now. I just made a fierce face and threatened to take their new beds "to the garbage"..."No Daddy! No!"..."Then shut your gobs, you! Get back in your own bed!...If I hear so much as a single solitary peep...what? Was that a peep!?" "No Daddy!" "Allrighty, then...don't make me come back in here or you'll be sleepin on the floor!" "Yes Daddy...can I have a smooch?"

    Awwwww....





       

    It Would Be Da Bomb...

    How much trouble would it be for the Israelis to add a plexiglass shield behind each bus seat that extends three feet above the back of the seat?

    It sure would confine the bomb damage to the immediate area of the Palicracker. And every several feet, have partitions that extend from floor to roof. And have plates above each seat that will pop out in the event of an explosion to release the pressure up and out, rather than through the entire length of the bus as it obviously does now.

    If they are going to continue to tolerate these animals and not exterminate them like the roaches they are, Israelis should at least do some basic engineering to minimize casualties.





        Saturday, February 21, 2004

    You Just Might Be A Homo If...

    ...you hear the word homo, and your hand doesn't automatically curl into a fist (and no, not around that, you homo!)

    ...you've ever watched 'Queer Eye...' and/or don't think a better title would be 'Black Eye For The Queer Guy'

    ...if you see an ad for 'Will & Grace' begin, and you don't lunge for the remote as vomit starts up your food-pipe...

    ...if you've ever noticed a male dancer's rock-hard abs while he does his sissy dance moves behind Britney Spears...

    ...to be continued...feel free to play along!







        Friday, February 20, 2004

    The Ant and the Grasshopper

    OLD VERSION:
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    MODERN VERSION:
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

    CBS, CNN, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

    America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

    John Kerry, Dick Gephart, Hillary Clinton and Howard Dean exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings
    that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of Federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican!

    [Anonnymoose]





       

    The L A R K Program

    [Author Unknown...to me]

    A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:


    The White House
    1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
    Washington, D.C. 20016


    Dear Concerned Citizen:


    Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.


    This administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.


    You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

    Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.

    Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

    Ahmed's meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be "one-handed" foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses it to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard) - but look on the bright side.. no increase in the toilet paper bill.

    He generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your new friend has a really bad case of body lice that hasn't been completely remedied. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others."

    Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws.

    Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance, but his rabies test came back negative, so not to worry. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

    Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property.However, he will be eager to assist with the education of your sons; have available for their use several copies of the Q'uran. Oh - and rest assured he absolutely loves animals, especially cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted, but raw is fine, too, if they aren't more than 2 or 3 days dead.

    Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. We think this watching over each other's shoulder is such a good way for people to interact that we will be sending a team of federal officials with expertise in your line of work to your place of business soon, just to help you do your job better.

    Don't be concerned that they have the power to close your business, seize your property, and arrest you for any violation of the 4,850,206 laws, codes, regulations and rules that apply to your profession. They're really there just to make sure you're doing everything the proper way. That is what you wanted, right?

    Well, thank you for this opportunity to interact with such a valued member of the citizenry. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

    Cordially...Your Buddy,

    Don Rumsfeld




       

    Since today is the anniversary of the Rhode Island 'Great White Nightclub Fire' I present, for your edification, the touching tribute I wrote last year...

    Once Bitten, Twice Fried...

    At least 96 people were killed and 187 hurt after a Rhode Island nightclub erupted in flames during a 'Great White' rock concert Thursday night...

    I guess if you gotta go, half smashed, listening to some good metal oldies is better than taking a swim with a Kennedy. I feel a little guilty, though, like when you hear a bus went over a cliff and you think 'Yikes!' and then you hear it was migrant farm workers and breathe a sigh of relief.

    A bunch of RI yuppie Democrats is pretty far down my scale of working up a good give a dang...sorry. Now, if it would have been a Jim Jeffords fund raiser, I'd be actively celebrating. Instead I'm just annoyed at real news being covered up by the media anal exam they give every trivial story nowadays, though I must admit that the whole live-cam on the scene 'Firestarter' re-enactment is pretty cool.

    As usual, I wonder what is going on in the real world that is being obscured by this Reality TV Rhode Islander Roast. And I can't wait for all the crocodile tear 'memorial' ceremonies to start...little stacks of flowers, cards, and bears left by well-coiffed fakers who are just hoping to get on TV while they pose for the cameras.

    Ever notice how their mascara never runs, these psuedo snifflers? And the cameramen, bored, always oblige by filming the hotties as they pose by the 'makeshift' memorial. Heck, go give those bears and flowers to some sick little kids in a hospital, these folks are just ash tray filling, now.

    If someone wants to start a fund for those burn victims, though, mark me down for a donation...that shit hurts. If it were me in that hospital, I'd be begging someone to OD me with a tube of street H before I had to endure any more pain...only to spend the rest of my life looking like a fallen souffle'.

    Oh, well...I've spent enough time grieving over this...


    [Yeah, I edited it a little...sue me. Go back in my archives if you care to see how this originally spewed forth...a little writing lesson]





       





        Thursday, February 19, 2004

    Since none of you bother to scroll down and read my updates, here is my update to 'And We Can't Do This Why?'

    Lazy ingrates...





       

    Oh My God!

    Would this be sweet, or what?

    Praise the Lord!

    A quote:

    "Citizens who are given a sudden reason to fear for their safety would be the primary beneficiaries of SB 454. For example, this winter saw a rash of rapes in central Manchester. No one has been charged with those crimes, and the perpetrator probably remains at large. Under current law, Manchester women who want to stash a pistol in their purse for self-protection have to wait for their permit applications to go through. Advantage: rapist."

    Fuckin A Right. My wife and I carry illegally, anyway. It keeps us humble, but if you really need it, yer gonna get shot.





       

    Awwww FUCK!





       

    For Your Edification...

    I present this.

    Believe it, or not.





       

    I posted this in an update to the 'Color Me Paranoid' post below.

    I'll put it here, too, since yer probly too damn lazy to scroll that far.

    Though you should.

    Dammit.





       

    More Thoughts On The Russian Possum...

    The Chechens are the Cubans of Islam. Much like the Cubans (a Soviet satellite) have gone all over the world spreading the religion of Communism with violent professionalism, Chechens have shown up in every muslim conflict, training and fighting to spread Islam and kill infidels. They are Islamicly motivated killers, who also happen to want Russia to leave them alone.

    They are Freedom Fighters who use Islamic terrorist tactics in their fight for freedom from Russian tyranny. Using this to somehow say that the US and Russia are somehow 'partners' in the War on Terror is like saying that, because the Mafia helped us out a little during WW2 with the docks, that the Mafia is somehow our 'partner' in the War on Crime.

    Ridiculous.

    The Russians fit every description in Bush's 'For Us Or Against Us' speeches...they harbor terrorists, train terrorists, finance terrorists, and have never once stopped trying to destroy and undermine us since their Revolution in 1917.

    It has been stated (correctly) that we have nothing to fear from the Russian ground army...poorly trained conscripts with no motivation to harm us. What I DO fear, though, are their missile forces. I also fear their financing of Islamic murderers who wish us dead.

    When you combine the skilled schemers of the former KGB with the newly born capitalistic juggernaut that Russia is becoming, you have a potential for real mischief...mischief we are blinded to by an institutional belief (the State Department) that 'the Soviet Union is dead', and our current preoccupation with the Middle East. Add to that these constant rumors of so-called 'accidental' releases of Soviet nuclear weapons and the mischief turns quickly into disaster.

    Without the income from oil, and the influx of cash and other assistance from communist countries, the loose structure of Middle Eastern 'civilization' would collapse like a sand castle does from a wave. Propped up by First World enemies who wish us harm, the Islamics begin to look a lot more sinister than they already do.







       

    Gay Marriage...

    Wrong. And it should not happen.

    The End.







        Wednesday, February 18, 2004

    Public Toiletry...

    Those of my long time readers know how I feel about blog comments. I can't believe I've done this.

    Now that I've added a comments feature, I feel like someone who has put up a public restroom sign on the door to the toilet in their house.

    I open the door to my bathroom, and there is some stranger sitting on my toilet, reading my Playboy and taking a shit. Then he yells "Occupied!" and slams the door in my face.

    Maybe I should have gone coin-op.





       

    hmmmmm...

    This is inneresting...

    Found via Right-Thinking.





       

    I'm All A-twitter...

    It's Wednesday night, folks, and we know what this means, right kiddies?

    Yes! Star Trek night! Yaaaay!!

    I wonder if Tucker is going to get second helpings from T'Pol, or are the writers going to make him act like a homo again?

    I love this show. Wednesday is my TV intensive evening, involving musical VCR's and whatnot to get around scheduling conflicts.

    I watch Enterprise and the O.C., and then I watch Smallville and Angel on tape. Sadly, this is Angel's last season on the WB. Hopefully UPN will pick it up, fire all the writers, and get Josh Whedon to come back and punch it up.

    Sigh, happiness is so fleeting. I think I'll request Kraft macaroni & cheese with hot dogs for dinner, and watch TV in my Punisher jammies.

    Update:

    Man, they are sure using Ryan as the Goat on the O.C. I am totally hooked into this soap. I think I'm touching my feminine side...s'cuse me, I'm gonna stick my finger in it...





       

    The Goddess Ann Speaks...

    Go and worship.





       

    From The 'No Shit, Sherlock' Files...

    Why hasn't this been proposed at the Federal level?





       

    Hmmmmm...

    This is interesting.

    Cudos to Allah.





       

    Ragheads For Dummies...

    You might find this useful.

    Know your enema.





       

    'New' (To Me) Blog...

    Check this guy out. He says he's Cajun, but he talks like an Amurrican, and he's not very spicy, but he rites gud.





        Tuesday, February 17, 2004

    And We Can't Do This Why?

    This article is a perfect example of what we should start doing yesterday. It seems the Little Dutch Boy can always come through in a pinch.

    Head em up, move em out...

    Rawhide...

    Update:

    Ha ha ha ha, ha!!





       

    Color Me Paranoid...

    It has been my contention all along that the Russians are 'playing possum', and that they just unloaded unprofitable real estate and did a little corporate reorganization; and then, with the help of their willing accomplices in the US and World press, they staged a psuedo collapse in order to lull the world into complacency, and to allow Bill Clinton to destroy the US Military as best he could, he being their Manchurian Candidate...well, one of them, anyway.

    Now I see this article, and the hair rises on the back of my neck. If my thesis is true, this could easily signal the start of some skullduggery.

    To wit:

    The failed launch has shown the gap between the real condition of the Russian military and the ambitions and muscle-flexing of the Russian leadership," said Yevgeny Volk, the head of the Heritage Foundation's Moscow office. [Emphasis mine]

    But the ambitious exercise hit a snag when a ballistic missile - a missile that is launched on a high-arch trajectory to hit a designated target - failed to blast off as scheduled from another submarine, the Novomoskovsk, a government official said on condition of anonymity. The official said the automatic safety system blocked the launch for unspecified reasons. [Emphasis still mine]

    So, you want us to believe that in a country being run by the head of the KGB (former? You go ahead and believe that if you want...) supported by all of his 'former' KGB cronies, that has opponents drugged and disappeared...has members of it's armed services having 'accidents' with what are arguably superior weapons systems than ours? When you get shot in the back of the head for fucking up, you tend to not fuck up.
    And Russian universities produce some of the greatest scientific minds in history. Underestimating them is like underestimating a member of the Gracie fighting family just because they are a spic.
    Stupid.

    And, speaking of strange bedfellows, what the fuck is the gosh darn Heritage Foundation doing with a 'Moscow Office', anyway?

    A Defense Ministry spokesman refused to comment. And Russian state-run television channels, which are lavishly covering the daily activities of Putin ahead of the election, did not report the failed launch. [Still mine, dammit]

    Soho! The Russki populace, during an election year, do not know about this, but the rest of the gullible world gets the memo?

    We are the only thing standing in the way of China and Russia...two evil superpowers with dark ambitions.

    It is my serious concern that we are feeling the gentle, grease covered finger, lubing up our nether port, preparatory for the Commie Colonoscope of Doom we are about to receive.

    And we are bending over and holding our own ankles, rather than fighting like hell the way we should be.

    Update:

    I'm sure this fits in here somewhere.





       

    Well Ain't This Some Shit...

    Crap like this, and the ramifications of it, just blow my mind, sometimes.

    Unbelievable. Talk about your Fox in the Henhouse scenario...





       

    On 'The Passion'...

    I'm debating whether or not to see this in the theatre. On the one hand, there are sure to be some audience members who puke, and that's always fun.

    But, I hate to cry in public (ET nearly killed me)...and if I wanted to kill a bunch of Christians in one place, and if I had a bomb or some nasty bugs, a theatre is where I'd do it.

    Maybe I'll surround myself with fat Christians.

    Saw Mel with the always execrable Diane Sawyer last night. It truly looked to me like he was doing everything in his power to not slaughter her right there on national television. I'da loved to see him leap on her with a mallet and some spikes and cruciform her to the floor. "Think it's funny, you smirking bitch!?! Huh!??!..." WHAP!!SHRIEK!!

    You should see the dreams I have when I'm asleep.





       

    Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Um!

    Okay, kiddies. Bane is trying out comments, in spite of all of the ragging he has done about never having comments. Actually, I am looking forward to banning people who disagree with me.

    I will also ban you for spoofing as someone else, using any racist language you have not seen me use, especially against any American, or just pissing me off in general.

    In lieu of money, adulation is always appreciated, but not neccesary. I may also ban you for being too nice.

    My speech is free...yours could cost you.

    Watch it.





       

    hmmmm...

    I tend to lean toward the side of those suspicious of vaccines, and the quality thereof.

    But, this is interesting, and should be tossed into the mix for consideration.

    We all know, or should know, that we as consumers are used as guinea pigs all the time. Vehicle recalls are just one example of this..."Enough people have been killed, injured, or deprived of their transportation because of this flaw, we'd better do a recall and fix it."

    But, if the basic medicines that are supposed to keep our infants healthy and alive are suspect, this is monstrous. When you add to the mix that these vaccines are legally required, and forced upon squalling newborns, and children who would attend school, those who say these vaccines are safe had better be fucking right...

    Or else.





       

    This Is Good...

    Go read it.

    Pretty please.





        Monday, February 16, 2004

    You Say You Want A Revolution...

    I've touched on this before. I'm afraid to touch it too hard, because it might swell up and get all stiff, and the next thing you know, Jack-Booted Thugs will be kicking my door in.

    So I'll have to (un-customarily) tippy-toe around this issue with kid slippers on.

    That being said, if you want to perform any significant changes in the America of today, certain people...sets of people, will have to stop doing what they are doing.

    People who make bad laws need to stop.

    Judges who make bad legislation need to stop.

    People who carry out the orders of people who make bad laws and bad legislation need to stop.

    However you feel a need to make them stop is fine by me, as long as they are stopped.

    What occupations make up the list of people who must be stopped?

    Topping the list are judges. They sign the search warrants, subpoenas, and other orders that let pigs come into your home and take your children, your property, and give your elderly parent a heart attack because the incompetents got the wrong house.

    Legislators of all stripes and levels must be stopped. They feel compelled, because of personal ideology, or because they need to appear to be doing something to justify their salaries and benefits, to make bad law after evil law that affects literally every aspect of your life, from the certified food that you eat, to the tagged mattress that you sleep on.

    Fuck da police. They are the cheap, mindless muscle that government uses to hammer you down, because thoughtful men made it difficult for government to use the military on US civilians.

    The police have gone from Officer Friendly to black armored thugs in my lifetime. I wish you could see how it used to be. Now, you have armed bureaucrats whose first loyalty is to themselves and their benefits and their pensions, and you are the annoying subhuman creature that keeps their job from running smoothly.

    I say this as a former policeman who has worked every level from the street to the DA's office, and barely got out alive because of corrupt cops who were trying to kill me. And no, I'm not going to tell you that story, so don't ask.

    Pigs come in all flavors, from the IRS Agent to the Game Warden, but they all have one thing in common. You are guilty until proven innocent, and you are still guilty after being proven innocent. And they are all backed by an army of faceless, nameless bureaucrats who keep the oppression machine running, and those who provide donuts to the governments gun-goons (even though it's true, I just threw the donut part in for whimsy).

    Yeah yeah yeah, I can hear it now..."Next time yer in trouble, call a hippie!" Fuck you. We wouldn't have to call a cop if they'd keep the known dangerous thugs WHO THEY HAVE FILES ON AND KNOW WHERE THEY LIVE AND WHAT THEY DO back out on the fucking streets. If a Sheriff in Arizona can put up tents and make a little concentration camp for these assholes, what's your excuse?

    We wouldn't have to call a cop if every crime-free citizen who wanted to could carry the weapon of their choice anywhere they wanted. Now, the only reason I'd call a cop to my house is to tell him a big whopper about how this asshole with nine .45 slugs in his back managed to crawl back into my living room and die. Ignore those drag marks.

    Irony is getting a $125 dollar speeding ticket for going five miles an hour over the speed limit while driving to the police station to report your bike stolen because the police are too busy to come out to your house to take reports anymore.

    Fuckers.

    I've said it before: I'd join a militia in a heartbeat if they weren't all racist, Jew-hating, Rambo wannabees who like to give themselves military rank and titles.

    I'm just one voice, crying in the wilderness, and the pigs are everywhere, and it's over. But if you, and some of your friends want to work for change, hey, more power to you.

    Good Luck.








       

    Let's Get Real, Kiddies...

    Solomon's Temple has been destroyed so many times throughout Jewish history, that there is nothing original there for anybody to worship.

    If you want to rebuild, Jews, go for it. I support y'all 100%. Just don't try to get me emotionally involved with some touristy-ass bric-a-brac bullshit.

    'Wailing Wall' my ass.





        Sunday, February 15, 2004

    I Never Knew This...

    Cool link.





       

    Canary's...

    This article gave me an idea. Why don't we take prisoners who are in for life sentences and put them in ventilated glass cages throughout our cities and monitor them? Put some of them high, and some of them low, and if one starts coughing, or breaking out in spots, or their skin falls off, we know we are under chemical or biological attack.

    Brilliant!

    They could each sit in their cage, watching TV or whatever, for eight hours, and then get collected and replaced with a fresh one, and get taken in to have their blood tested...then they get the rest of the day to lounge around, and they get extra dessert.

    Pretty cool, eh? Write your Congress Person.






       

    Guilty Pleasure?

    What the fuck is that, anyway. I get called that all the time in emails. They titter behind their hands and call this blog a 'guilty pleasure'

    Is that like when you get raped in prison, and you tell your rapist "Glad you got some pleasure, but ow!"?

    Or is it like slamming three shots after midnight and gobbling five pieces of her Valentine candy?

    Is it a blowjob from your own sister?

    I think I'll scream if I hear that again. I'm not asking for love, people. Like me or leave me, but make a commitment, dammit.

    If people who say they agree with me would just start being as out about it as I am, maybe we could change some things around here.





       

    In Keeping With The Conspiracy Stuff...

    Why would China do this kind of shit? Wouldn't they fear endangering themselves as well?

    Does someone know that the 'fix is in', and 'someone' (or something) isn't going to allow anything nuclearly naughty to happen?

    The only other choice is just madness.

    Like Einstein postulated things that hadn't been discovered yet by their effects, it is not a difficult jump to insinuate some sort of cabal that has such complete control over the affairs of mankind that they do not fear the unleashing of nuclear weaponry.

    Sweet Dreams!

    Update:

    Glenn Reynolds has some thoughts on this, too:

    This also suggests that the Chinese are, well, dumb as rocks. Arming an unstable nation with whom one shares a border with nuclear weapons just seems awfully stupid to me. (See also Russia and Iran).

    hmmmmm.





       

    Instant Messaging...

    My Son says:
    soory, had to leave for a second

    Simon says:
    I'm soory, too

    My Son says:
    I just found out that some marines are leaving tonight and I left to tell them I''ll miss them and that I wish

    My Son says:
    I am worried about thrm dad

    My Son says:
    its a weird feeling saying goodbye to all these guys

    Simon says:
    yep

    Simon says:
    give out lotsa free hugs

    Simon says:
    party hard with your bros

    Simon says:
    keep a shoulder free

    My Son says:
    I would hate to be a family member saying goodbye to their son or doughter. these are my friends and it feels

    My Son says:
    I cant explain it

    My Son says:
    I am so worrie dfor them

    Simon says:
    yep

    Simon says:
    sorry

    My Son says:
    I hate this

    Simon says:
    yep

    Simon says:
    me too

    My Son says:
    i'll be back, gtg

    Simon says:
    kay

    My Son says:
    had to go get more hugs, you were right

    Simon says:
    yep

    My Son says:
    all the times we spent working together playing together laughing together are over

    My Son says:
    I cant believe it

    Simon says:
    tellem to buy batteries

    Simon says:
    and pop tarts

    My Son says:
    there will be a px were they are going

    My Son says:
    that sells pop tarts and batteries

    Simon says:
    not for a few days while they in process

    My Son says:
    I still remember my first phone call to you guys when I was in iraq

    Simon says:
    me, too

    My Son says:
    "hey its ME, I'm in IRAQ!"

    My Son says:
    can you hear me now

    Simon says:
    you homesick?

    My Son says:
    for what?

    Simon says:
    Iraq

    My Son says:
    it was a good life out there

    Simon says:
    count your blessings

    My Son says:
    except for the acual living conditions

    Simon says:
    and the dying conditions

    My Son says:
    got to know people real well

    Simon says:
    go to summer camp

    My Son says:
    yeah, and the dying conditions

    My Son says:
    but the first week I was in tsb one of my friends fell off the third floor in the barracks and died

    Simon says:
    ouch

    My Son says:
    no matter where you go people die

    Simon says:
    not as fast

    My Son says:
    but out there we were brothers. here everyone is on their own program

    Simon says:
    yep

    Simon says:
    maybe

    My Son says:
    I would rather be here, but its hard to explain

    Simon says:
    not to me

    Simon says:
    I get it

    My Son says:
    I know

    Simon says:
    what's wrong with crying?

    My Son says:
    its just weird how this shit affects you

    My Son says:
    off to war

    My Son says:
    where someone dies every day

    My Son says:
    will it be the guy I drank with an laughed with and ate dinner at his house with his family?

    Simon says:
    you think too much

    My Son says:
    I know, probably nothing is going to happen

    My Son says:
    but I have had bad experiances with iraq

    Simon says:
    yep

    My Son says:
    I think I am just going to sleep on it

    My Son says:
    I love you dad

    My Son says:
    goodnight

    Simon says:
    love you forever

    Simon says:
    like you for always

    Simon says:
    as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be...

    My Son says:
    I'm already emotional as it is. thanks for bringing up that old story. I love you to dad, glad your in my life

    Simon says:
    me, too

    My Son says:
    goodnight sir

    Simon says:
    goodnight, my son





        Saturday, February 14, 2004

    Fucking Pagan-Ass Holiday...

    I gave this to my wife today for Valentines Day.

    Now she just needs to come up with a way to go pick it up.





       

    This Disturbs Me...

    This article was posted by Lee over at Right-Thinking and the usual suspects are poo-pooing it.

    I cannot poo-poo it because A) I don't have enough facts/knowledge to do so and B) On the face of it, partisan sniping aside, it makes an elegant, terrible sense to me.

    I do not know anything about the passenger manifest so I don't know if the hijackers appeared on it or not. Holmgren's statements about kerosene and burning rates and whatnot ring true to me. The Pentagon strike always bothered me, and didn't look kosher from the beginning. I find it easy to believe Holmgren's statements.

    If someone could point me to a knowledgable site where Holmgren's assertions are debunked, I'd be greatful.

    Because, until proven otherwise, I believe him.

    Update:

    There's a lot of heat on this subject, but very little light. Holmgren has been labeled an 'anti-semite' (more accurately, an 'anti-Zionist'), as if that automatically indicates and inability to be right about something. I love the words and wisdom of Mark Twain and H.L. Mencken, and have owned several Fords, regardless of the anti-semitism of their creators.

    Aaron gave me this link, which I'm still digesting. While enlightening, I don't see how it negates or disproves Holmgren's thesis.

    Why didn't the alleged Pentagon planes wings, full of fuel, splash flame up the walls of the building as it went in? I've seen many crashes, and the wings always come off. I recall being astounded at the lack of exterior damage to the building and grounds. And the video released briefly from the exterior security camera did not seem to me to support a plane crash, but did appear to support a missle strike.

    People who automatically disregard a conspiracy theory bother me just as much as the ones who believe in a thing because it's a conspiracy theory.

    Our government has been proven itself time and again to be able to conspire against its citizens successfully, and for long periods of time. Why was McVeigh executed so quickly, and other murderers get their executions delayed for decades? And the Green River killer gets Life instead of a swift needle like McVeigh?

    I don't know what it is, yet, but something about this stinks. I'm not going to suggest it was The Joooos, or Bush and his evil minions, but I know enough about Bush's dad and Dan Quayle's Costa Rican cocaine dealing to know 'something's rotten in Denmark', as it were.

    ...to be continued (?)....

    Psycho Update:

    How hard would it be, assuming you had the keys and unlimited access over the weekend, to replace all or most of the fluid in the fire sprinkler systems of the two towers with kerosene?

    Just wonderin.

    Extra Double Secret Update:

    Okay, okay! I know planes hit the WTC! Duh! I saw that with my own eyes!

    Jeez, people...that's not the question. Don't be dense. The questions about who was behind this, and how 19 subhuman wastes of skin could do this still stand. The water's murky.

    Barb did come up with a good eyewitness account of a jet striking the Pentagon. I'd want to see what her witnesses could actually see from their vantage point before I swallow it, though.

    Call me Thomas.





       

    "Hi honey...am I interrupting?"

    "Just watching a movie...seen it before...talk..."

    "I'm stuck in a line of cars here on 34 while this long-ass train is going by..."

    "Okay...is there ice?"

    "No...really cold, though...hey! There's a couple of guys getting outta their cars...they're talking..."

    "Uh huh..."

    "This is weird..."

    "Got yer gun?"

    "...uhhhh...no..."

    "ha ha...are your doors locked?"

    "yes"

    "Betcha wish you had a gun..."

    "...this guy is coming back here..."

    "What's the number to 911?"

    "Funny..."

    "Hey, you gonna stop and get some wine and some milk?"

    "You need some tonight?...shit, he's walking around in the road..."

    ""Use your car as a weapon...it's the biggest fucking thing there...tell me you didn't block yourself in..."

    "No, I can pull out..."

    "Good...squish his ass...then back over him...twice...kids're in bed..."

    "Asleep?"

    "nah...had to swat Thunder-Bunny a bit ago for busting in on the boy and chatting him up...so, you getting wine tonight? And milk?"

    "Sure..."

    "Happy dang Valentines..."

    "You too, babe..."

    "Get off the phone in case you need it..."

    "..'kay...see you in a bit..."

    "Ta..."





        Friday, February 13, 2004

    X Marks The Spot...

    I wish they would put me on the inspection team going to Iran and North Korea.

    I would just wander around, looking at things, nodding wisely, and saying "mmmhmm" under my breath, with an occasional "Oho!" thrown in for good measure.

    I would wander over to various valves and instrument panels, furrow my brow, and snap copius amounts of photos with my digital camera.

    Then, seemingly finished. I would pick some big, open room, go into a corner, and then, with measured steps, walk to the center of the room, tear off a six inch by one inch piece of red tape, and stick it on the floor.

    I would do this from each corner of the room, until I had a little asterisk thingy in red, there on the floor. Then I would arch back and look at the ceiling, holding my thumb up to an imaginary spot above me and, sighting along my thumb, I'd pull out a GPS transmitter and enter the coordinates.

    I'd put my stuff away, brush off my hands and walk jauntily over to the nearest translator, and gesture over my shoulder with my thumb to the taped asterisk, tell him jovially that "I'd sure hate to be standing there about a week from now, ho ho!" and then give him a wink and a nudge in the ribs.

    And then leave. Quickly. "Sorry, no time for dinner! Must Run! Good luck to you all! Bye bye now!" and then scamper up those airplane steps and zip outta there.

    Heh.





       

    "Honey, dammit, I see her clam again..."

    "Well, don't look!"

    "No, dammit, find her some friggin underwear that fits and throw these away..."

    "They're her favorites..."

    "Hon, she's scooting around on the floor and she's gonna get rug crud up her cooch!"

    "Oh, gross..."

    "No, yer the one that's gross, not getting rid of these damn raggedy panties..."

    "Darn raggedy panties..."

    "Darn raggedy panties...I'm just saying, I'm tired of seeing her clam...what if someone came over when she's flopping around like this?"

    "Sweetie! Go put some pants on for Daddy!"

    "I wanna wear my ballet skirt!"

    "Crikey...I'm going upstairs, and later on, I'm taken some scissors to those damn panties..."

    "Darn panties..."

    "Darn panties..."

    "Nooooooo! Don't! You! Cut! My! Pannies!"





       

    This Is Killing Me...

    I found this link via Kim Du Toit.

    Move breakables out of reach...

    If this is true (and I've heard this verified from several sources), why aren't we seeing these muslum bastards being carted off to Guantanamo?







       

    "You don't bite Mom's hair off..."

    "Okay, I won't."

    "You don't poke her eyes.."

    "Okay..."

    "...or her ears...

    "Uh..."

    "...or her boobies..."

    "Okay..."





        Thursday, February 12, 2004

    Ooooops!

    The ramifications of this shit are breathtaking.







       

    Hmmmm...

    I got this from Instapundit. Along with Drudge and Debka, these are daily must-reads.

    Bookmark accordingly.





       

    Allah Has A Damn Good Point...

    Allah says this:

    Perhaps you will interrupt your search for the semen-stained dress for one moment and riddle Allah this: What perhaps not insignificant detail is missing from this report but not missing from this one?

    I've been telling you boys and girls in our military for some time, now: FRAG YOUR MUSLIM CO-WORKERS!!!

    I could not be more serious.

    We are at war. We are at war with Islam. 'People' who follow Islam are called 'Muslims'. Muslims are our enemy, and will kill all of us if they can. Your Muslim fellow soldiers are all either moles or potential moles. Your government is an idiot, your chain of command only want to look good for their promotion evaluations.

    There is only one solution to this Muslim cancer amongst you:

    KILL THEM FIRST!!! KILL THEM NOW!!!

    It makes me sad and angry that someone could think I am joking about this.

    Fuck.

    Update:

    There are still people like this who are all touchy feelie. They are wrong.






       

    Allahu Porkbhar...

    This story cracks me up. It's about time the silly Israelis did something like this. Although, the very fact that they can even discuss this along the lines of religion is astounding to me.

    Silly Lemmings.





       

    I Couldn't Help Myself...

    I had to leave this comment after reading a great post here:

    I think I may have met your Anal Chicks twin. She was always trying to stuff something up there, and it got so I couldn't relax around her. I'd be happily probing her nethers and I'd feel a hand creeping across my butt cheek towards the One Ring in The Crack Of Doom and all the vigor would leave my tuber.

    Man, that brings back memories, and has kindled a possibe 'You Kids Today' post. Most of you weren't around during the Sexual Revolution, when sex was still dirty, and you learned you could fuck a chick with no fear of her getting pregnant.





       

    Funniest Blog, Ever...

    Go read badnewshughes.com...read ye all of it.

    He may be the funniest, most honest guy, ever.

    Git!





       

    Nuke South America!

    Picked this up in my daily news perusal. I've known this has been on the radar for a couple of years, now, and that our government is peering intently into things.

    I hope it involves lots of dead brown people.

    Brown communist, terrorist, and/or muslum people.

    If I was still in, I'd be volunteering to go there. This makes a border fence all the more imperative, though, to be sure, the fuckers could just catch a plane headed up here and hijack it.







       

    To Boldly Hump...

    Did 'Enterprise' rock last night, or what? T'pol...gettin jiggy wit it...lucky Tucker got to fuck her...yee haw!

    But what's up with the doctor? I used to like him but they seem to be turning him into a hippie. He seems to be the character the writers use to express any counter-culture spasm they are currently having.

    And Tucker better quit acting like a homo for getting laid with the hottest star on TV today.

    Dammit.





       

    From Lileks Today...

    Fine, whatever. This much is true: when you?re 50, holding on to the details of your 20-something convictions is like being 40 and trusting the insights you had when you were ten.
    I don?t care what John Kerry said when he was 25.

    I care about what John Kerry says today . . . about what he said when he was 25.



    Go read the whole thing. Daily. He's good.

    The above quote pretty much states I feel about this whole thing. I don't need a reason to hate Kerry, other that he is a Liberal Democrat. Everything else is just gravy.

    But! To be true to myself and my consistent with my creed, I have to say that cherry-picking stuff from someone's distant past is pretty chickenshit. Unless you're doing it to John Kerry.

    Ha! Just kidding...he'd be exempt, too, if not for the fact that he appears to have remained unchanged over the decades.

    Prick.





        Wednesday, February 11, 2004

    I Did Not Know That...

    The Goddess Ann Coulter strikes again.

    In the past, I have always felt a little guilty for wanting to roll that fat cripple Max Cleland over a cliff and watch him splatter on sharp rocks below.

    No more.

    Go read.





       

    To Boldly Go...

    Well, this is cool...really cool. You may have to register to read this. Just quit whining and do it. It ain't the Mark of the Beast.

    Reminds me, WATCH STAR TREK TONIGHT!

    I mean, 'Enterprise'.





       

    Go Forth...

    ...and read this. I could not have, quite literally, said it better myself.

    But I coulda used more cuss words!





       

    Keep A Sharp Eye On Your Dildo...

    This is interesting.

    Why can't this kind of crap happen to my ex-wife?





       

    Screwing Outside Of Your Species...

    This article should have been titled 'Don't Fuck A Negroe!'

    My favorite line from the article is this:

    Most of the 84 students had tested negative with the standard HIV antibody test.

    Ho ho! There are some caucasian vaginas trembling with dread over this one, methinks! HA! Good on ya, white girls...good on ya. Next time you get to craving something brown, try chocolate...at least you know where it's been.






       

    What!...

    I note a defensive tone to my posts, lately. Almost as if I'm starting to give a shit. That is just one of the side-effects of having readers, I guess.
    I shall endeavour to repair this flaw I have discovered in myself.

    On an unrelated note, it is getting to where I cannot turn on the TV without wanting to puke. I cannot watch the news anymore, either. The chance that Kerry's disgusting mug will pop into view is too overwhelming. I hate him with a deep and personal passion. I cannot conceive of him as President...my dread of such an event is near-suicidal. It gives me an insight as to how the Left looks at Bush, and cements my belief in how absolutely dangerous to America this makes them.

    I was never this way before. I didn't hate Clinton, at first. I learned to hate him over time, and now he is on my list of Faces Who Will Make Me Change The Channel...along with his entire Cabinet, his horrible 'wife', and any Kennedy. Now Chelsea, I would jerk off to.

    Ford was a boob and an idiot, and simply had to go. Squeaky nearly did the country a great favor. But I almost voted for Carter because, me being a young man, his message appealed to me.
    I never voted in my life until the current Bush, and I now regret that, though I'll do it again with a hanky over my nose and a squint of disgust. I hated his WASP pussy of a Dad, and wasn't initially sorry to see him go.

    Reagan? Way overrated in my opinion. The best thing he did was keep the Evil Empire as paranoid as a hippie at a police convention. And his wife is a fucking nut. Thank God for the current first lady. I can't stand to hear her speak with that nasally Texas shitkicker twang, but, thanks to her knowing her place, I don't have to.

    Here's a new blog for you, kiddies. Give him some traffic and we'll see if he stands the test of time. He's actually blogrolled me, a rare and interesting choice, even though I am listed with another blogger I personally despise. Oh, well.

    Happy Hump Day. Do something evil to a liberal for me.

    Thanks.





        Tuesday, February 10, 2004

    24...

    Okay...it's the middle of the show, and you in the know, need to know...

    If I was Jack Bauer, I would tighten a tourniquet around Nina's off arm, and then amputate it in front of her, without anaesthetic.

    At any point she wanted to talk, I'd stop, and offer her morphine, get the info, stop the virus, and then drop her out of the plane.

    After I finished cutting off both of her arms.

    Yes, I'm serious.





       

    Blatant Anti-US Propaganda...

    This is the most egregious example I have ever seen. How he typed this out while fellating an Al Quaida member at the same time is the mystery.

    Had I the money and the power, I would have him killed.

    That wasn't a joke.

    Stupid.





       

    Please...

    Let these be the last words you ever read or listen to from this idiot.

    What a fucking mongoloon. This ties in directly with my post of January 31 ('Resting On Your Laurels') where I take people who were once great but are now lily-livered to task.

    Hackworth is a dangerous has-been, and I wish people would quit publishing his hallucinations. Make him get a blog, so I can ignore it.





       

    Fucking Ragheads...

    Anybody wondering why we haven't caught Osama yet? Why our boys are getting killed in Iraq and Afghanistan? Why we're getting a bad name amongst those we die to liberate?

    Just read this and this, and tell me you don't wish you had a gun in your hand, and an Arab kneeling in front of you.

    Every time some idiot tries to tell you "Oh, there's many good Arabs...we can't judge them all!", just remember these articles, and kick them in the crotch.

    Update:

    But Wait! There's More!

    Can we pretty please just start killing them now? Please?





       

    Does Al Franken Suck, or Blow?

    Now I have to see his pig face on children's shows on PBS?

    Imagine my horror this morning when his vile puss popped into view as some puppet was introducing him. I muted the television and explained to my kids how Franken is the root of all evil, consorts with monsters, is one himself, and hides under their beds to gnaw on any appendage they might be so careless as to let dangle over the side. Their looks of disgust as they gazed upon his foulness was my reward.

    Start em young, I always say.





        Monday, February 09, 2004

    TV Rules!

    Except for those broads on 'Las Vegas' tonight, they don't rule at all...what's with this hair today?
    All those 'hotties' look like they arrived at work (on the show) after driving for about an hour with their heads sticking out the sunroof, only to get mugged by really crappy tattoo artists, who then proceeded to make them dress up, at gunpoint, like cheap hookers.
    Ladies, if you think that those tattoos just above your ass cracks are sexy, think again. The first thing I think of when I see one, is that she just shit her pants, and some squirted up her back. And ladies, if you want us to have something to look at, let us prop a Playboy open on your back while we fuck you...tats are distracting, and since only men should have them, we feel a little gay looking down to see an ass-crack that looks like a sailors forearm.

    And I hate 'CSI Miami', but the beginning of the show tonight? Coming in on a helicopter, techno-music snarling? ...Oh Baby! Gave me a hard-on to imagine being a Huey door-gunner... strafing a school yard full of little muslim kids...machine gun rounds spalling out and down, the smell of hot metal and gunsmoke...dirt spouting up amidst their twisting, spurting bodies...

    Sorry...wet dream...

    Won't happen again...

    Heh heh....Hey? Can I baby-sit your kids?