Help Wanted...

Hey, what's a brutha gotta do to get a writing job? Nobody's beating down my door, and, other than buying a Writers Digest and trying to wade through all of the bullshit, I haven't a clue. Do I need a pimp? Some tough negroe who will get me jobs, and smack the trade around if they get too rough?

I sit here, dead in the water, my sides raked by cannonade, drifting...sails drooping...rudderless, fires licking avidly towards my powder magazine..."From Hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!"

...or just give me a dollar. I need a friggin beer.