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        Wednesday, December 31, 2003

    Man, there's some serious alcohol going down here, and mass quantities of consumables. My new favorite drink is bourbon and Safeway diet cream soda...yummy.

    Update:

    Bourbon and prune juice is really good, too. I shit you not.






       

    new years placemark 4: due to excessive partying

    Fuck You! We do what we want!!




       

    new years placemark 3: due to excessive partying




       

    new years placemark 2: due to excessive partying




       

    new years placemark: due to excessive partying




        Tuesday, December 30, 2003

    Bring On The Terror!

    You whippersnappers have probably never been spanked properly...this would go a long way towards explaining the sorry state of our country today.

    Back when I was being spanked regularly, I recall wanting to get it over with, and right away. I did not want to "wait til my Father got home", or wait til after chores, or whatever excuses the lazy whacker came up with to put it off...no, I wanted it over with...the waiting just made it worse.

    We are going to get whacked. Some 'Bad Guy' is planning it, perhaps even implementing it as we speak. Let's get it over with. I would like to volunteer any family reunion of mine (that doesn't include my children) as ground zero, but the Bad Guys are going to do what they wilt...
    I just want them to do it, and soon.

    Hit the Super Bowl? Fine. I won't be watching, anyway, except for the ads. Heck, pick any target, and have at it. I'm ready. We're ready. A positive side effect will be that we will crush, kill, and destroy anybody we think was remotely involved in it this time. We as a nation are collectively tired of this shit. We want an excuse to whack hippies and other left-wing commie scum of our own, so a glorious pogrom will ensue.

    Please, Mr. Terrorist...spank us soon?

    Thanks.





       

    You Say You Want A Revolution...

    Well, you can't have one. It's funny, too, because revolutionary cultures such as Russia, Cuba, and China are always happy to point out how America was born. But our Powers That Be looked at all of that Revolution stuff and began, slowly but surely, to put a stop to that nonsense... and pretty words from Jefferson about "watering the Tree of Liberty with the blood of Patriots" be damned.

    Lincoln killed the dream of States Rights (along with many of the best and brightest of our Patriot bloodline) with his Civil War, and showed that habeas corpus was just a joke...a cruel tease that was just so much smoke blown up our collective skirts.

    And now? You think you can change things with your vote? Your vote is about as useful and meaningful as that little red plastic flower that old men try to sell you in front of the stores the week before Memorial Day. How many of you reading this know what that flower even means? Thought so.

    I, a firearms enthusiast, voted for Bush, and he has flat stated that he is going to sign an extension of the Assault Weapons Ban. That was just one of the big anal reamings that Clinton gave this country. And Bush continues to sign any mega-state nonsense that gets put on his desk. He actively campaigns to allow illegal cockroaches to swarm over our borders. I have gotten a better return on my investment with a $10 bill in a Tijuana whorehouse than I have ever gotten from my vote for GW Bush. And that gorgeous Tijuana hooker never gave me anything that kept on giving, but GW's taxes are gonna last forever, and his policies can't be cured.

    So, you wanna join some 'group' and take up arms? You wanna try to 'make a difference'? Good luck. Any group you think to join is going to have more agents provocateur from various government agencies than True Believers. And even a True Believer will sell you out like a bitch when the electric shocks begin to course through his testicles.

    That is why I've given up. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I'll take whatever sugar Uncle Sam wants to give out, and just be glad that I don't have anything he wants. Heck, I donated two sons to his military, along with several years of my own life. Thanks for the checks, Uncle!

    No, the drama needed to 'make a difference' is too great. You have to be completely alone, with nothing to lose. You can't be crazy, and you have to be alert every minute of the day. You'd have to be a helluva shot, too, because you could not afford to engage your enemy up close, because you'd have no back-up. You would have to do a lot of exhaustive research, and you'd find that your primary target would be judges, because they are doing the most damage to society today. And, oh my gosh, the low level bureaucrats you would have to perforate. These are the folks that implement the policies at the level that effect Americans. Robin Hood knew this...he didn't go after the Sheriff, he went after his Tax Collectors. As a lone, military sanctioned sniper in wartime, you don't go after the officers...you go after the truck drivers...the cooks...people who will make the machine grind to a halt.

    I'm just sayin, dontcha know. It's hopeless, anyway.





       

    Hippie Scalping...

    The Hippie is the only animal I can think of, offhand, that if you kill one, you do not want it's pelt for any reason.

    Killing a Hippie is much like killing a rat or some other vermin...you do it as pest control, and dump the carcass in the dumpster, trying very hard to not touch it.





       

    Compare and Contrast...

    I can't help but notice that a whole bunch of Iragians got severely squished by their own domeciles recently. This is because the news is keeping it in my face long after the four seconds during which I actually gave a crap about it.

    Okay. So a 2,000 year old sand castle finally gets around to collapsing on the descendants of the original castle builders, mashing an alarming quantity of them quite flat. The insane leaders of this insane country declare that they "will rebuild"... one would assume that, as is their custom, said rebuilding will involve the same building techniques. And more Iragians will move in and cross their fingers against the next shaker...

    Members of this same clan of lunatics hijack some Marvels of Western Civilization, and fly them into some other Marvels of Western Civilization, and 3,000 innocent people get disintegrated. The government affected vows to allow it's private citizens to rebuild. New designs are submitted, and work begins.

    So, for those of you keeping score at home, it looks like:

    Powers of Darkness- 3,000ish

    God- 20,000 and counting

    Sound about right? Like I always say, don't be pissin God off.





        Monday, December 29, 2003

    Insult to Injury...

    It was so quiet around midnight last night that it woke me up...dead quiet. Even the silence was muffled. This could mean only one thing. I sprang to the window and threw up the sash, and sure as fuck...snow.

    Shit. I hate snow. Had fun today, though, filming my wife with the new video camera as she abused my tots with snowballs..."Catch, Baby!" whap "Waaaahhhhh!!!"

    Gotta love it.





        Sunday, December 28, 2003

    Talking Out Yer Ass...

    I really need to do some more research...my Gut tells me GW is okay...my Gut also tells me GW is a Globalist Prick who makes Clinton look like George Patton. My Gut is confused.

    My Gut has lied to me before. It has told me "hey, it's just a fart," and then squinched out a good squirt of butt-sauce and ruined a perfectly good pair of pants.

    Moral of the story? Your Gut can save your ass, but it is just as likely to give it a good smear.

    I need to ponder some more...I'll get back to you on this.





       

    Raiders...RIP...

    Fuck.

    Any questions?





       

    Fatal flaw in 'Die Hard'...

    ...John McLane should have killed Hans first, in the scene when Hans had the 'drop' on him (when Bruce Willis handed him the empty pistol), and then the thugs came up in the elevator and opened fire. He should have unzipped Hans like a can of beans, and then turned and cut up the rest with well aimed, short bursts...he had the element of surprise, and their Aug Steyr's would climb badly on full auto at short range.

    Update:

    It was brought to my attention by a new reader that the 5.56 Aug Steyr does not climb as stated above. I know that. From when the bad guys were assembling their weapons, it looked to me that they were assembling them in the 7.62 SAW version. Coupled with the hellacious muzzle fire that the armorer and special effects person saw fit to apply, I assumed the 7.62 configuration, which would climb, even in a bull-pup configuration.

    So there.






       

    Check This Site Out...

    He may be smarter than me, and that's pretty hard to do...leastways, he works hard to sound smarter. He also has a column at WorldNet Daily.

    I enjoy his writing, though I often disagree with his conclusions, which I am sure he would think makes me stupid.

    Heh.





        Saturday, December 27, 2003

    BOMB CANADA NOW!!!

    We need to exterminate these fiends! Infiltrating infected cows into the heart of our West Coast dairy land...bastards. At least beef prices are dropping like Clinton's pants in front of an intern. What's a little twitching when you're getting Prime Rib at hamburger prices? Wanna have some fun? When yer in the meat department, pick up a nice roast, and then act like it's shaking and quivering in your hands and say "Ahhh, no wonder it's been marked down..."

    The sooner these vile Canusians are killed to the last moose-fucker, the safer we will be. Al Queda does not worry me nearly as much as the Al Quenadians do. Why can't we put our prisoners to work on building a Great Wall between Canada and Mexico? I'm all for going to the moon, but first things first, dammit!

    And why can't we build one giant-ass airport out in one of our deserts, where all international flights would land? They could then, after being checked up their ass for bugs and gas, be flown to their ultimate destinations. Why do we have international flights just zipping around like mosquitos, going wherever they want? Stupid.

    We need to declare Canada a state, and kill any of them that object, and their little cows, too...and all of the French ones (cows and people) as well. We can then ship all of our muslims up there to where the French Canusians used to live so we can keep an eye on them...kind of a benign gulag, or ghetto if you will. Just build a big space needle in the middle of the new muslim city, put a big neutron bomb in it, and tell em "yep...you guys wanna play 'fuckaround', we got somethin fer yer asses right here, muthafukkas! Bring it on!"

    No more Mister Nice American!




       

    Aarrrgghhh...my weekend 'Raider Related' depression has set in. They are playing the Chargers tomorrow, and it's not even being carried on any channel I can find.

    Note to terrorists: If you're gonna do it anyway, Qualcom Stadium would be a good place to start...give my Glorious Raiders an excuse to lose. Just wipe out the whole team and their management and ownership, and then we can start fresh. I'd like to request you use something quick and painless...I love my Raiders, and do not wish to see them suffer. Except that big fat fucker whose name I can't remember who always moves prior to the snap and gets my Glorious Raiders flags all the time. He can suffer.

    Thank you.





       

    If This Doesn't Piss You Off...

    Go to this blog and read the post entitled 'The Emporer Has No Armor'.

    Now, Dammit!

    Is it any wonder I hate our dumbass retarded innefficient government?





        Friday, December 26, 2003

    Truer Words Were Never Spoke...

    I swiped this from Kim du Toit:

    "There is room for but one language in this country, and that is the English language, for we must assure that the crucible turns out Americans and not some random dwellers in a polyglot boarding house." -- President Theodore Roosevelt

    Yep. 'Nuff said.

    Speaking of Mr. du Toit, he cusses just as much if not more than me, and he gets all kinds of awards, and people call me an extremist. Except for the fact that he's a Godless Athiest and had best change his ways afore he smokes a turd in hell, and I am a God-Fearing Christian, he and I are right down the line in agreement on nearly everything.

    Sigh...





       

    Ho Ho Ho, Ho...

    This is my favorite Holiday Story so far...really 'lit my log', if you will. Enjoy!

    KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Kansas City police are investigating after a woman was impaled on her neighbor's wrought iron fence the same day the neighbor's home was robbed, KMBC reported.

    Mary Beth Byers, 37, was trying to climb over the fence when she was impaled on it early Thursday morning. Her husband heard her screaming and found Byers stuck in the fence. He supported her to prevent the iron spike from impaling Byers further while waiting for paramedics to arrive.

    A resident who witnessed the incident said the woman had slipped 6 to 8 inches down on the fence. Gail Stark, the victim's mother, said paramedics had to remove part of the fence to free the impaled woman.

    She was taken to an area hospital, where she was listed in serious condition.

    Byers told authorities she went to her neighbor's house to return some garage sale items. But later in the day, the neighbor, who lives in the 1200 block of Northeast 81st Street, reported that her home had been robbed. Police are looking into the incident.


    I'd like to think she was straddling the fence when she became impaled...but maybe that's just me...





       

    Hey, Iran! What's Shakin?

    Hah! I kill me. Sucks to be an Iranian, today, eh? Well, I imagine it must pretty much suck all of the time, but most especially when you get a few tons of rock dropped on you..."Hey, Mahmoud! Wanna get stoned?!?" Heh heh.

    Let's see, now...a 6.5 earthquake hits a major population center in California the other day, and two rich broads get squished coming out of a jewelry store.

    The same earthquake hits in Iran, and thousands die. Hmmmmm.

    Whose God is stronger now, infidels? Hah! In your face! Who builds your shitty houses, anyway?
    Our deaths only number in the thousands when the disaster involves members of The Religion O Peace(TM).

    We learned after 1906 that it didn't pay to stack bricks to make a building, and that having fire departments was a really good idea.

    Apparently, this must be the Middle East's first earthquake. I'm sure they'll be better prepared for the next one.





       

    Can I Have My Life Back, Now?

    Whew...glad that shit's over. Can we turn off the sappy music and schmaltzy TV now? Can we resume regular programming? Leave The Tinselight Zone? Okay, that last one was reaching, but it's all over but the shopping, folks, let's move on!

    I managed to get out of assembling the really hard toys, i.e., any Hot Wheels track setup. I look serious and scientific while I use manly tools to remove battery covers and insert batteries and make sure things turn on...chimp work, in other words.
    The wife, though, sits bemusedly in a scatter of track parts and gaily colored plastic shapes that have to rational relation to each other, squinting to read a poorly translated set of 'instructions' someone thoughtfully printed out on a 3' by 3' sheet of flimsy paper in twelve languages including Christ's Aramaic.

    I am glad to know that on the other side of the world right now, some furriner is sitting in a pile of sharp-edged plastic, squinting at his set of 'instructions', and wondering just how many monkeys it took to type them up.

    I drank an entire fifth of damn good brandy between 3pm and 1am on Christmas Eve, except for a good knock I saved to put in my coffee Christmas morning. I'm pretty sure I got laid...well, someone got laid...or something, anyway.
    My parents gave us a video camera and I my cruel wife filmed me in all of my Christmas Morning Glory, looking like a fur-covered ball of food you'd find under the couch a month later. Tousled is kinda cute, or so I'm told...I looked more like the afterbirth from a Mongolian gang-bang...the sheet marks made me look all piratey, and hadn't faded by the time I went down for my Christmas Afternoon Nap.

    Oh well, the little ones had a blast, and that's what counts. I didn't shoot any family members, or even piss any off. I got several really relieved emails congratulating me about that. My prodigal son even called...and even my non-prodigal ones. Cheap bastards coulda sent money and/or liquor. Oh well.

    I'm gonna celebrate New Years Eve like I was at an Iraqi wedding, so be sure to wear your helmets! Gravity's a bitch, and so's this hangover.





        Wednesday, December 24, 2003

    Christmas Eve Sucks, Too...

    I have to get the kids to bed so I can sneak the ridiculously huge pile of presents out of the back of my truck and into the house...little fuckers are eyeballing me, too. They've heard my whoppers before, and are prepared to believe Santa is something Daddy came up with while drinking his 'apple juice'. It is noteworthy that I can leave a glass of anything anywhere in the house, and come back to find it untouched. They are free to sip from Daddy's glass any time they want, and having done so in the past, they bypass it as if it were a bubbling pool at Chernobyl.

    I want to slip into something a little more comfortable, have another drink or seven, and perhaps pork Mrs Claus, but the little turds will not cut me any slack. I sip my V.S.O.P. brandy, and glare at them. They glare back. My ass chaps.

    Dammit! Get to fucking bed! It is raining outside, so I am assured of a good soaking as I mule in their loot. It took me seven armloads of big-ass boxes from the storage shed to the back of my truck...the water draining off the hatch of my camper top and down my butt crack...actually, that felt kinda good...soothing. Present-hauling is rough work.

    Ah, the Thunder-Bunny and her Mutant Brother are blumping up to bed! I prepare to strike!





       

    Let Slip The Logs Of War!

    Man, I just passed a Yule Log that probably raised the levels of the oceans around the world by an inch or so...
    even now, Bangladeshi's are running inland, screaming "Ganesha Dammit! He has passed another Loaf of Doom! Run for your lives!!" as the tidal wave approaches.

    Heh heh...roughage...





       

    Even A Stopped Clock...

    ...is right twice a day. Andrew Sullivan, overrated fruiter that he is, is dead on with this:

    Our leading bishops demand hard evidence of Saddam Hussein's possession of weapons of mass destruction. If we were to demand the same level of proof from their profession, they would all be out of a job.

    Good one, fairy. Truth hurt, Catlikkers? Tough.

    As we move closer to Christalnacht, my mood worsens. Not a good day to piss off Old Bane.





        Tuesday, December 23, 2003

    Ugh...

    Another family-intensive Hallmark Day coming tomorrow. I will be out first thing to purchase a big bottle of liquor as a nerve tonic. My parents and my sister together in the same room with me and my long-suffering wife. And two sugared up little kids who want their presents right fucking now! but they can't have them until Christmas morning because that is The Wife's tradition, and nothing stands in the way of that.

    Some loving person got my 6 year old a full size radio controlled car that I wouldn't give a ten year old...some kind of rabid-ass sports car that I'm sure will go well with the front of the TV. With his toys, he knows two speeds...off, and "warp 6, Mr Sulu!" I may have to act the saboteur. I, being a genius, buy both kids each a little remote control car that can't get stuck no matter what because it has wheels on all sides, and it is not going to break your frigging ankle if it hits you...then some yahoo spoils things by buying him a two foot long Ferrari that weighs as much as a fucking lawn mower. Ho fucking ho.

    I shall secret little pints of bourbon all over the house for emergency refills. I have a back-up plan where I intend to retreat to my room and yell "Fuck Christmas!" anytime someone knocks on the door...enough bourbon, and I may fire warning shots through the top frame.

    I hear the flu is big this time of year, why can't I get it? That would be perfect, snug in my little bed with my barf bucket and my snot bag for Kleenex, chugging Nyquil as needed, until visions of giant sugar plums crushing elves to death dance in my head.

    Pray for me. My anticipation of misery has my colon in knots, and I am really building up some Christmas Fudge...





       

    Repost From November...
    No Comment...


    To those of you who are new here:

    I hear folks on other blogs bitch about blogs that do not have comments. These are probably the same lazy whiners that think it's okay to steal music and software. Fukkem.

    You can email me. Many do. Thanks for the compliments, but it's not neccesary. I do this for me...it's just a bonus if you enjoy it. If I say something, it is right. You cannot change my mind, and insults just make me happy that I've pissed you off.
    [NOTE: I have yet to recieve any hate mail...dammit]

    Not to say that I cannot change my own mind, but it's doubtful, because I am in my forties, and set in my ways. I have had a rich life, full of experiences that have formed me in to who I am. I am highly educated, and widely read.

    Comments tend to turn into a poor version of IRC, and I would find that intolerable.

    That is all...we now return you to your regular programming.




        Monday, December 22, 2003

    Shut Up, And Don't Sing...

    James Taylor, who dedicated his song "Brighten Your Face With My Fist" to Darryl Hannah, may be the single worst bald, mullet-headed 'folk' singer to have ever clogged the airways with his drek like a tertiary AIDS patient's phlegm-clotted lungs.

    Nobody really liked him for the ten minutes he was hip, and then he whupped on Darryl Hannah, and showed the world what a hypocritical fag-rod he was. It's difficult to listen to anyone's love ballads when you can only picture them whacking some hottie in the face...regardless of whether she asked for it or not.

    No, he is just an awful singer. What is he, in his fifties, and his testicles still haven't dropped? Fuck me, but he sounds like an alto castrati.

    Even setting aside his awful politics, he being the idiot-minstrel for every lefty politico and cause that spatters from the DNC's diseased, distended, and well-travelled fart-pipe...he is just a slimy looking reptile, who looks like he slithers into nurseries and sucks the breath from newborn infants.

    Do not encourage or allow any empty headed acquaintance of yours to buy his CD's when the ad comes on TV...as a matter of fact, as they begin to focus on the TV and his sitar-like voice, excreting that nasal yodel of his, whack your friend or family member solidly on the head with a rolled up newspaper or magazine and say "No!" sharply as you jump in between them and the TV, frantically trying to change the channel with your other hand from behind you.

    It's for the children.





       

    Warning! Orange Alert! Warning!

    We are under a very heightened state of alert. This means that old ladies in wheelchairs, and blind white grandfathers (and their grandchildren) will be searched even more thoroughly, and the bins full of nail clippers will overflow.

    This alert level is in no way intended to interfere with any illegal aliens who wish to cross our borders, or any ragperson who needs to get on a plane with several of his cohorts.

    Thank you. Please continue to infiltrate the country.





       

    Let Us Pray...

    My Glorius Raiders play tonight. My wife is out picking up beer and snacks. I fear that Madden may talk trash during an important play, and an important vein will burst in my big brain, and I'll be found, mumbling incoherently at the television, both middle fingers extended and locked in rigor.

    Prognosis is not good. The Orange Alert is appropriate. I hope that Homeland Security snipers are in the stands, alert for any potential suckiness, ready to shoot the first Raider player that drops the ball and then shrugs and grins about it...you hear that, Jerry Rice?

    How many quarterbacks have they broken this year? 3? 4? Fuck. Don't mock me! You soccer-watching eurotwats! Four of my Raiders linebackers, in full battle regalia, could kill an entire field full of your girly-shorts wearing, skipping and hopping homos...and then stomp your festive little checkerboard ball flat. So just shut up!

    I saw the Glorious Saints lose all hope for the season yesterday...because of their parapelegic retard of a kicker they all have to go home and contemplate how much they suck. They should have just handed out short blades and let them all kneel and commit Honorable Seppuku. "There, rookies! Now let that be a lesson to you!"

    I think I'm getting a chest pain...

    Update:

    What kind of dirty cheater uses his Dad's death to get them stoked up to beat my Glorious Raiders? Curse you, Brett Favre, and your hot sexy wife, too!


    Update # 2:

    There is only one hope for my Glorious Raiders...someone needs to go kill Brett Favres Mom, too. Right now. Quickly.


    Update #3:

    Aaaarrrrggghhhh!

    That is all.

    Update # 4:

    It was cruel of me, I know, to suggest that Brett Favre suffer even more loss just to try to insure that my Glorious Losers win a stupid game....oh, who am I kidding, his whole frigging family could die, if that meant my Raiders winning! I'm a FAN, dammit!!





       

    The Cradle Cap of Civilization...

    As I slog through the Iraqi blogs, I find myself at times in need of hip-waders...high rubber boots that keep the crap you're stepping in off of your clothes. I see repeated references to 'The Cradle Of Civilization'. Let us leave aside scholarly objections to that, and take it on face value.

    What do we do with cradles? We keep our infants in them. When they grow up, they leave and move on, don't they?

    Well, civilization did that about 3,000 years ago...grew up and left...and it never came back. These Arabs seem to be crowing over some dead rocks and pottery that white European and American archaeologists dug up for them, otherwise they would still be letting their camels take a dump on the ground where these antiquities would still be buried.

    And who knows what that civilization of 3,000 years ago looked like? Truly looked like? There has been so much interbreeding, rape and pillage, and so many migrations of peoples that the only thing we know for sure about the original occupants of The Fertile Crescent is that they are dead as fuck, and not coming back any time soon...and these camel-riding rug peddlers ain't it.

    15 high tech Russian Mig fighters buried in the desert, and their terrorists are using their version of the Fisher-Price 'Baby Terrorists First Bomb-Making Kit', cobbling together their boom-booms from scraps on the ground.
    "Oooooh, don't scare me with your big old civilization, Mr. Arab!" I tremble, alright, but not from fear.

    Yes, they gave us the zero...and they are still giving us just that.







        Sunday, December 21, 2003

    Suicidal Tendencies...

    I was just reading this article in Haaretz Daily about a group of 5 Jewish teenagers who refused to sign up for their patriotic duty to become soldiers, and are about to be sentenced for it. Earlier today, I read about a group of Israeli commandoes who are refusing service in The Territories "as long as the Intifada is ongoing".

    Bane has a solution. Put a skullcap with a Star of David on it on each of these lemmings, put them in an armored truck, drive them into the nearest 'refugee camp', and push them out.

    "Here you go, guys, I'm sure your new friends you are supporting by your actions will welcome you with open arms as brothers! I'm sure you've heard of the legendary Arab hopitality? Go get some!"

    It's as simple as that. Film it. Show the film in every Israeli high school, and at every military base.

    On a tangentially related note: I think that we should do the same thing in this country...what I mean, is mandatory military training after high school with a 6 year stint in the reserves. Refusal to be penalized by withholding any and all possible state and federal government benefits and loans for life, and no college to accept the refusnik...ever. Penalty to be withdrawn upon completion of training and two years service in active duty, and a commitment to ten years in the Reserves.

    I think the next generation of leaders might be a little bit different than these pampered, powdered pansies currently infesting our public offices like boil-covered leeches.

    Amen?





        Saturday, December 20, 2003

    Merry Christmas, Jewboy!

    Please go to this site, and read the (fairly long) Dennis Prager article in the post titled 'Holiday Hullabaloo'...scroll down, lazy!

    The entire post is what I would (and have) said myself, and I am in 100% agreement with it...except for all of the Jewboy stuff...after all, I am a Bad Christian.

    Bookmark the site, too, and return often...if I voted for dumb shit like that, Aaron's Rantblog would get my vote as the best one...after mine, of course.

    Enjoy.

    Update:

    For all of you retards who thought I was dissing Jews with this comment, I was actually honoring Aaron. I would dis Jews if I wanted. I do not want to. That is all...

    Morons.





       

    The Fatal Flaw In Alaa's 'Argument'...

    Alaa is one of the so-called 'Iraqi bloggers'. I began to go to these sites a few weeks ago, seeking enlightenment, and I got caught up in debates with various commenters. I remained polite, for the most part, restraining myself as I never have before, and reading everything he wrote, as well as the others' comments.

    I am a trained interrogator (among other things), and sooner or later some lie you tell me will jump out, like a big spike on a polygraph, and I know then that you are not as you appear.

    Here is Alaa's Fatal Flaw...his 'big spike':

    "...Another point, also; labels and classifications can mean different things in different places. We should not be slaves to these. What do we care, here in Iraq, about who, in the US, is Republican and who is Democrat; who is Conservative and who is Liberal? We care only about their position regarding our business. Isn't that the most natural thing?..."

    Note the part I have highlighted...the lie here is that it is ALL ABOUT PARTIES in Iraq...who is Baathist, who is Shiite/Sunni, who is Kurd, who is Communist, and so on. It is the same in the US. You may not ask a persons party when you buy gas from them, but it sure as heck becomes important during voting time, and even in simple matters like marriage and friendship.

    No, Alaa has shown himself to be the stereotypical disingenuous, lying Arab, and to be trusted just so far as you can throw him. And his statement "...We care only about their position regarding our business. Isn't that the most natural thing?..." shows him to be nothing more than just another oily camel trader, out to hustle the rubes.

    Now, Zayeds blog shows a little more promise. I like his straightforwardness. Alaa's is about as useful as Howard Dean's website, and I truly believe that you could get diabetes from all of the sugary ass kissing that goes on there.

    Fukkim.

    Update:
    Hey, Alaa, you who do not care about labels like 'Republican' and 'Democrat'...if there was a Democrat in the White House, Soddom would still be running your show, and if a Democrat gets back in the White House, the Baathists will be driving your bus again in no time flat.
    You had better check the label before you buy, bubba!





       

    From the "You Make Your Bed You Have To Lay In It" File...

    Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ha!! This article has just made my day! How often do you get to see the hated and despised psuedo nation of Canada get a bad case of hemorrhoids from fucking itself up the ass with another stupid ass pro-faggotry decision?

    Once again, the already broken down Canadian taxpayer gets their collective faces jammed into the mud of political correctness, and this time, retroactively all the way back to 1985!! Yay!

    I have always said that AIDS (Anally Inflicted Death Syndrome) is a self inflicted wound...now non-deviant Canadians are going to have to pay for the suicidal behavior of a bunch of faggots, and it just couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of folks...
    oops, have I offended you?

    Good!





       

    Take a little time...

    ...out from shopping for your little pagan holiday and read this...and then try to tell me again how Goerge Bush isn't a friggin Strategic Genius.





       

    Tit For Tat?

    FOX News reports it like this:

    Some Palestinians threw firebombs at the troops, who responded by shooting one attacker in the leg, the Israeli military source said on condition of anonymity.

    Those darned, extremist Israelis. Some animal wants to burn you to death, and all he gets is a flesh wound?
    Hardly an eye for an eye now, is it?





        Friday, December 19, 2003

    Anecdotal Evidence...

    I have noticed a trend in the comments section of blogs that have comments. Some commenters deny the validity of Anecdotal Evidence. This means they are calling you a liar because you are reporting the evidence of your eyes. These are the same fartknockers, no doubt, who deny that circumstantial evidence has any value in court...dumbass squared.

    Here is some anecdotal evidence that you cannot deny. And I have plenty of anecdotal evidence of my own to back up Blackfive's.

    We should deport every muslim in this country that is here on a visa immediately.

    We won't.

    We will pay for that decision in blood and pain, sooner or later.





        Thursday, December 18, 2003

    Let's Get Something Straight...

    I have heard fool after fool try to compare the Koran and Islam with The Bible and Christianity. They are especially fond of bringing up The Crusades and The (Spanish, dammit!) Inquisition.

    Let me clear this up...

    The Bible is a book, slap dashed together (from scrolls) after the fact (and commissioned by King James), who many believe (including me) to be A) the painstaking historical chronicling of the history of Gods chosen people, the Jews, and B) His various Words (orders, proclamations, and whatnot) to humanity, passed to humanity by God through various human vessels (let's call them Prophets, for convenience).

    The Bible is broken up into the Old and the New Testaments...the Old covers various covenants and such made with various kings, prophets, and peoples, all of which were subjective, and set to expire at some point. Thus, the dietary and moral laws given to nomadic, wandering tribes, were useful in keeping them alive pre-refridgeration, but when that period of time ended, or the people involved in the covenant died, so ended the orders/covenant.
    Anti-Christian naysayers continually throw up books like Deuteronomy out of ignorance, thinking that if you believe one word, you must accept them all, when there is a LOGICAL, HISTORICAL PROGRESSION, YOU DUMB SHITS!

    The Koran, on the other hand, is essentially an unchanging document. There is no New Covenant given onto it's followers, as Jesus did to His ("...and this NEW commandment I give on to you...to love one another...").

    No, with the Koran, what you see is what you get. A short guide to the conquering, murdering, deceiving, and subjugation of the infidel...ahem, that would be you...and anyone who tries to tell you any different, is taking advantage of the near certain fact that you have not read and/or understood their book(s). Others of those who try to tell you different are 'pick and choose muslims', much like there are 'pick and choose Christians'. Either type dilute the truth like pissing in the wedding wine.

    Are we clear on this? Prove me wrong...come at me with any factual evidence you can muster.

    Bring it on...

    Update (for the Right Tinkers):

    I know there were other collections of these works (containing 'books' of the Bible) commissioned by Constantine and various popes...when I say 'King James', I mean the current Bible in most hotel rooms today.





       

    Hello, Seeker...

    You might find this interesting. If you can refute it with any fact whatsoever, I am ready to listen.





       

    The Iraqi Blogs...

    I have wasted too much time on Alaa's blog, searching for the truth. He appears to speak out of both sides of his mouth.

    I have a pretty good bullshit detector, and his latest post set it to jangling. And I quote:

    Although I dislike the subject, I have to put in this before leaving.
    You give the subject of Religion too much importance. Sectarianism is not about religion, it is about temporal privileges.
    Iraq in particular has never been a theocracy, and will never be one. The matter simply is not as important to us as you think.


    All true, but coupled with all of his 'Praise Allah' nonsense at the beginning of every post of his...hmmmm.
    And then the Iraqi sympathizers (read: ass-kissers) all rush in and praise and defend Islam as fast as they can. I gave Alaa's blog too much credence...I shall start spending more time in the other Iraqi blogs, looking for balance and sanity.

    I could be the victim of my own contry's press and its propaganda. Maybe. But I suspect I am being bullshitted when I hear:

    "Religion is not important to us" from someone who knows damn well most Arabs are muslims, and if praying five times a day isn't religious, I don't know religious. Muslims are killing Christians all over the world, sanctioned by their muslim governments.

    Even Soddom himself, lying monster that he is, paid homage to Islam on the face of it. And now, with the vacuum of a lack of government in the 'new' Iraq, Iraq is damn well in serious danger of becoming a theocracy.

    From the tone of his blog, I suspect Alaa, and several other of the Iraqi bloggers, are communist. Many flat out admit they are athiests, which is a good first step towards being a commie in my book. I could be wrong...

    I went out searching for the truth, with an open, yet guarded mind. So far, the truth is matching my preconceived notions, though I was prepared for it not to.

    This is only important to any Arab because of the fact, that out of every round I fire, right or left handed, a fatal wound will result. I am far from being alone on this ability, and I influence many others who can do the same thing.

    Think about it...





       

    The Goddess Ann Coulter Speaks!

    All you mortals must grovel before her Beauty, and Her Mighty Pen!

    In this article, out today, she says:

    "...If George W. Bush announced that a cure for cancer had been discovered, Democrats would complain about unemployed laboratory rats..."

    and

    "...In 24 months, Bush has perceptibly degraded terrorist operations throughout the world. The rebuilding in Iraq is going better than could possibly be expected. Liberals don't care. They just want to turn everything over to the French. (And, apparently, the recent capture of Saddam presents us with a golden opportunity to do so!) The Birchers were right about these people. They believe in world government more than they believe in the United States..."

    Go read it all...





       

    NOT Bored Of The Rings!

    I enjoyed that movie more than every movie I've seen in the last two years, combined. Hands down the most impressive THREE HOURS AND TWENTY ONE MINUTES I have ever sat through. I forgot all of the human scum around me who were hacking up SARS phlegm...I forgot the family behind me who brought at least twelve infants and toddlers that cried and burbled through the entire movie...the crackhead next to me who 'tied on the old popcorn bag' through most of the ENTIRE FUCKING FILM!!

    If you don't LOVE this movie, than I don't want to talk to you ever again. It's that simple. Go Away.

    My favorite movie ofall time, though, is still this one. Go buy it and enjoy it often, like I do. My favorite part is where humanity dies off...ooops! Sorry, SPOILER!







       

    Malvo Found To Be Guilty...Fucking Duh.

    One count of Excessive Nappiness, with Special Circumstances of being Muhamads twink, and an additional charge of Poor Cartooning.

    Oh, and two counts of murder. Pretty telling that he fired from a hole in the rear. You take things in backwards, you put things out backwards...





       

    Koranimals...

    Sounds like some new kind of children's sleep wear for kids in the Middle East, eh?

    Nope! just the latest funny term I've heard coined for members of The Religion O Peace(TM).

    Here are some I have coined over the last couple of years. Feel free to use them in polite (or impolite) conversation:

    PaliCrackers (because of their tendency to explode when jarred, or not stored safely)
    Paleswinians
    Philistinians
    Palestinkians
    Palitargets
    Paleostinians


    These are all words I have written either in my blog, or over at Right Thinking over the last year or so. Check the dates, and you will see that I predate any other use of the word, unless some sort of wonderful symmetry was happening.

    Let's see what words you can come up with! I am particularly fond of 'Fraudi Arabian'. It is so apt.





       

    People Get Paid For This Shit?

    I find this to be damn near unbelievable. This site and this site have put into perspective how I have just now decided I feel about blog whoring. There are people who attempt to make a living at this? Yes, I'm talking to you, Andrew Sullivan, you pompus, bloviating fruit. The only time I read that dillwads tripe is when I follow someone else's link to it (damn you, Glenn Reynolds!).

    Shiite, I get this blogger site for free...not a penny. Anybody who is paying to do this worries me. Is their ego so big they have to have all the extra vanity bells and whistles? Hey, it's your hobby...I don't care what you spend on your hobby. But if Drudge changed his site to a pay site, I'd shitcan his link in a heartbeat. I don't even sign up to read sites for free.

    Tip Jar...unbelievable. Hey, if anybody wants to mail me their ATM card and their PIN, I will provide a good address. Until then, I do this for me...any enjoyment you may accrue is purely collateral damage.

    If I ever manage to excrete a book, or an article for someone for pay, you bet I will cash that check, but I have yet to see a blogger that I would pay money to to keep them going...especially after they ask for it.

    Geez Louise...





       

    Happy Story Time...

    Follow this link and read the story...warmed the cockles of my heart, I'll tell ya. I especially like the part about "mowing Iraqis down in waves..."

    Enjoy!





        Wednesday, December 17, 2003

    Mother! Blood!

    The Mighty Bill over at Bloviating Inanities got me to thinking about womens bloody crotches, which of course got me to pondering lesbians...

    What do lesbians think when God reminds them once a month that they are women?

    Shouldn't have eaten that apple, beeyatch!

    Heh...





       

    Bored Of The Rings...

    I hope the heck not, cuz I'm about to go invest most of my day in watching that movie, drinking whiskey from a flask, and trying to ignore the fact that most of the cast and its director are steaming lumps of liberal shit.

    3 hours and 45 minutes. Fuck me, that's a long time....I hope they have an intermission, cuz the next time I see it will be on DVD if I miss anything.

    I also hope that I'm not surrounded by fanboys...a bunch of twenty to thirty-something mullet heads in 'Frodo Lives!' t-shirts commenting all through the movie in stilted, psuedo Edwardian tones. And the first fucker that starts translating Elvish out loud gets my knife in his throat, I swear.

    I think I'll bring along my Family Size can of Mace, or maybe my bear fogger.

    Y'all shut up now, hear?

    UPDATE:

    It was actually only 3 hours and 21 minutes long. Sorry.





       

    Hang Em High...

    That little sniper turd Malvo is about to be sentenced, hopefully to death.
    I hope so, because I would hate for offended FBI agents to go on a rampage, rioting and looting and burning stores in their neighborhoods. Since the FBI agent victim was a white woman, I hope that the court was racially sensitive in its jury selection, because only other white women should have the right to determine the fate of the killer of white women...

    Ahhh, that's just being silly. That sort of thing could never happen in America, now, could it?

    Naaaahhhh.





       

    Go Here Quick!

    This post made me laugh out loud. He may be as funny as me.

    Naaaahh...





       

    I just ripped this off from Frank J's site...

    "A War In Iraq"

    A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down
    a road when they hear a voice call from behind
    a sand dune. "One United States Marine is better
    than ten Iraqis!"

    The Iraqi commander quickly sends 10 of his best
    soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun battle
    breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

    The voice then calls out,"One United States Marine is
    better than one hundred Iraqis!"

    Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100
    troops over the dune and instantly a huge fire fight
    commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

    The American voice calls out again, "One United States
    Marine is better than one thousand Iraqis!"

    The enraged Iraqi Commander musters one thousand
    fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons,
    rockets and machine guns ring out as a huge battle is
    fought. Then silence, eventually one wounded Iraqi
    fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying
    words tells his commander,

    "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There's two
    of them!"






       

    Man, I Hate Catholics...

    I know, I know...I should hate the institution, and not the people who make it up. Yeah, right. It is that kind of stinkin thinkin that kept the Nazis, Commies, and Baathists in power as long as it did.

    This nonsense that movements are somehow not enabled and sustained by their adherents just chaps my ass. I submit to you that there is no difference between the Pope and his lackey Bishops, and the lowest, poorest papist eating their crackers and juice in a mud church in Bolivia.

    Liberals have no problems labeling all members of the KKK as bad and wrong and worthy of nothing but contempt. And they are correct in this. So why all the trouble about being honest about other Bad Movements? If all white rascist gangsters are bad, why are not all black or brown rascist gangsters equally bad?

    We are caught up in this nonsense as well in the US, where the disease of Tolerance has run rampant, and destroyed many an otherwise good mind. No, if you are a Democrat or a Green or a 'Progressive', you are wrong. You are enabling other idiots in an attempt to destroy my country. You are the enemy, and I will not be satisfied until you recant and become a Conservative, or you are swinging from a lamp post while birds pick out your eyes.

    Fuck you, just shut up and die already.





        Tuesday, December 16, 2003

    Ugh...

    I just finished toodling my trike around the bloggerhood, and I see so many empty, trivial words and phrases being tossed about...empty calories, pretty words...USDA Certified Nonsense.

    Lets take the Preamble to the US Constitution...pretty words, drawn on a napkin in a bar...meaningless, really, if you think about it. Who gives a damn what truths you hold to be self evident? Maybe I hold different truths? Maybe I have more guns than you, so my truths will become more self evident than yours if I have the will?

    Oh, pull your panties out of your crack...Bane has taken an oath to that Constitution several times, has put his life on the line for it, and, as far as Bane knows, he has not been released from any of those oaths. And Bane takes his Oath very seriously.

    BUT! There are a bunch of chuckleheads out there trying to teach Sanskrit to a stuttering retard. You can bring a whore to water, but you can't cure her syphilis.

    Actions speak louder than words. Folks think that they can write a few flowery words, and change the minds and hearts of Iraqis who still have family members buried in trenches with their wrists tied behind their back, a bullet hole in the back of their skull, as corpse beetles nip off the tasty bits from inside their eye sockets. And below their brother in the trench? His dead wife and children dessicate in the harsh Iraqi sand. Yeah...give him some pretty words. Give them a copy of our sacred Constitution, and everything will be okie dokie. Wipe away those tears, young man! Buck up! Here are some pretty words for you...just forget the fact that your chimp of a leader did all this to yours, and to thousands of other families, and that there are still people in your very own neighborhood who would like to see the chimp back in power, or to have the power for themselves to do it to you this time.

    What consumate ninnies we in the West can be. Give these people their guns back and step the fuck out of the way. If I had the rage that must be brewing in their broken hearts, I would kill you for standing in my way.

    That could explain a lot.





       

    My Country, Right Or Wrong!

    It is (or fucking well should be!) known that I do not trust mine, or any other government. Mindless lumbering retards that tromp around with their huge fucking feet, crushing the life out of the lilliputians who made them.

    BUT! My government can do no wrong when it is fucking up your government, or you, for that matter, should you happen to be a damn furriner. I don't care if we pass a law that says you furriners have to get a big purple USDA stamp on your ass when you apply for a tourist visa, and get circumsized on the spot by a bored black fat woman with six inch fingernails and a rusty boxcutter. Fuck you. You don't like it? Stay home, furriner!

    My country is better than your country, hands down. Shit, I can go through my country and find your country somewhere in it, with less disease, better wine, and no snotty furriners cluttering up the place. So you and your whole shitty country can just fuck the hell off. The whole rest of the world could just die the fuck off and I would not miss any part of it. No more stupid soccer cluttering up the upper channels.

    Heck, the US is already like a well stocked zoo, or maybe Noah's Ark...there's at least one breeding pair of every frigging nationality on the planet here now. I would miss the harmless island peoples...perhaps we can find a way to spare them...

    But the rest of you fuckers just have to go. We are tired of having to clean up your pants that you just shit in them your own selfs, we are tired of paying you dumb shits to not attack each other, and for having to jump in between y'all when one of your Moon Ghods tells you that your stars are in Yeranus...and some of us get hurt when you act out, so, get ready. We are getting ready to piss in your chili, and cryin won't help yah, and prayin won't do yah no good!

    Bring it on.





       

    Why Bane Blogs...

    The only reason I am mentioning this is because traffic seems to be picking up on my site ( I do not have a 'counter', whatever that is...I've never given a big shit who reads this, or doesn't, but dang, I've been gettin a lot of emails) But, there has been so much blog-whoring going on, lately, that I want to separate myself from it.

    I started blogging a little over a year ago when I heard a blurb on Tech TV about it (or was it PC Magazine? I forget). I thought that what a blog was was a semi-private diary that one kept for oneself, and perhaps for a close circle of friends. Well, I don't have any friends, so at first I didn't blog, until I heard that you could use it to let off steam...I had plenty of steam, so I cut loose. Katie bar the door, I fired with both barrels and said what I wanted, when I wanted, and it felt good.

    Another blogger starting a new blog (Lee, from Right Thinking From The West Coast) apparently saw 'BaneRants' pop up in Blogger when I posted one time, liked what he saw, and invited me over to his fledgling blog. I went, and began posting, and saw that there was some sort of community, but I didn't go out into blogdom, and continued to post in my site and at Lee's, and the world was good.

    Recently (November), I tired of the 'war of personalities' that had broken out on Lee's site, and began to tend my neglected little blog. I also began to go out and explore and comment in other blogs that I had never been to or had been to only rarely.

    Why am I telling y'all this? I dunno...it's weird having an audience. Readers. Regular readers, even. People, who through email, I have found to be respectable...I am not respectable, nor very respectful. I have noticed that I have began to tone down the profanity, and mute the rage. Fuck that. Read or not, I am going to write what I want, and if you don't like it, there's plenty of other turds in the treatment plant.

    I have noticed that my writing has improved over the months. I don't need to cuss as often, and my phrases are turning more comfortably. I guess what I'm saying is that, I hope you enjoy my blog, I hope you take something away you can use, even if it's just a new dirty word, but...

    This is MY sandbox, and I'll throw all the sand I want.

    Carry on.





       

    Golly!

    Watching the dames on MSNBC right now...whew! Hotter than FOX babes ever thought they could be. And they put two of them together side by side! Jeez, it's difficult to pay attention when the blood is rushing from ones brain...





        Monday, December 15, 2003

    Hmmmmm...

    Check out the claims in this link from Debka.

    Sounds logical to me...of course, this would mean that our government doesn't always tell us the truth...

    Perish forbid!





        Sunday, December 14, 2003

    WARNING!

    UPDATE:(12-16-03)

    This is rising through the proper channels, and quickly. Also, I have gotten many comments about many of the photos being of Reuters origin (i.e., publicly available). I know. Those don't worry me...it's the ones that show destroyed US M1's and Bradleys in excess of DOD reported amounts...and it's ones that are obviously taken by individual soldiers' and Marines' cameras. I have developed my sons film myself, both on paper and on CD, and I know what they look like. Something is amiss.

    I am going to post this here in my blog, first, and then start emailing around to the milblogs and see if I can't put a stop to this shit.

    I found this site from this site. As you can see, the first site is an Iraqi Resistance site, and the site referring to it is a 'pro-American' site (we shall see).

    As I was going through the photos on the Iraqi Resistence site, one thing jumped out at me right away...MOST OF THESE PHOTOS HAD TO HAVE BEEN TAKEN BY AMERICANS!!!

    There is only two ways the hajis could have gotten these photos...Americans gave them to them, or they made extra copies wherever these were developed in the Middle East (and then provided the photos to people whose main goal is to kill Americans!).
    I asked one of my Marine sons about this and he said "Oh, we developed our photos at the Photoshop on base..." and I asked him "Who works in these shops?"

    "Uh, hajjis..." pause..."Dammit!"

    The light comes on. We have got to put a stop to these raghead bastards using the photos of our dead and wounded to jack themselves up into a fighting frenzy.

    Amen?





       

    FOX Spews, and assorted paranoid ravings...

    Golly I hate FOXNews' Rita Cosby, that bloviating blowfish. She looks like she is in the final stages of anaphylactic shock, all swolled up like a toad, and her voice sounds all whistily yet throaty, like someone tried to choke her after mouth raping her. Ugh.

    They call FOX 'Right Wing'...she and Geraldo alone are the antithesis of that. Brit Hume is about the only person I can stand, there...heck, I love the guy. But until Soddom took over the news today, FOX has looked like a rah rah Scientology front for Wacko Jacko and the other faux celebrity murderers like Scott Petersen (spit!).

    Rupert Murdoch may not be the AntiChrist, but he sure is his lickspittle. I had a thought...if the AntiChrist is the 'Anti' of everything Jesus was, why couldn't the AntiChrist be a woman? Hillary, anyone? You know King James fucked with the gender pronouns in the Bible.

    Hmmmm...





       

    By The Way...

    That bit with the flashlight and the tongue depressor was doubtless an intelligence officer searching Soddoms mouth for false teeth with suicide pills in them.

    From the complacent look on Soddom's face as he is subjected to this indignity, I would guess that he had already been drugged.





       

    How Big A Deal Is This?

    hmmmmm, somewhere between the capture of Noriega and Pablo Escobar, and the suicide of Hitler (though I still suspect that Hitler got away).

    Hussein is on a par with Pol Pot and Eichmann. If the Iraqis do not have Hussein kneeling in front of the executioner's sword inside a month, something will be terribly wrong. I suspect the Iraqi Council and the Americans are having high level meetings right now to discuss what kind of accident Soddom is going to have after we finish pumping out every piece of information from him.

    Soddom is crazy, not stupid. You can bet that Assad of Syria is passing blood about now, because he knows Soddom can potentially use the whereabouts of the WMD he shipped out of Iraq for a certain amount of leverage...and it was shipped into Syria. I am sure that Soddoms interrogators are leading the egomaniac to believe that he has a chance of getting out of this.

    North Korea is shitting little bunnies, too, as is every criminal on earth who has dealt with Soddom in the last 30 years.
    This list can include US Presidents, French and German Leaders, and Captains of Industry from around the planet.

    If Soddom is alive this time next week, I will be very surprised. If I was some billionaire who stood to lose everything and faced prison, I might be tempted to pay a dozen Turkish fighter-bomber pilots a million bucks apiece to perform a nice clean air strike on Soddoms position.

    I hope our guys are awake, and real, real paranoid.





       

    I posted this over in Alaa's blog this morning. There's some interesting discussions going on over there...and the usual trolling fuckwits. Go give Alaa some love!

    When my son called and woke me up early this morning and told me to "turn on the TV", my first waking thought was "Dang, they caught Santa Claus!" before I fully woke up.

    Congratulations, Alaa, for this is one more Evil Jinn to go back in the bottle.

    I see the Paleswinians are very saddened by Soddoms capture, and are acting out their displeasure. Good to know who your friends are, eh Alaa?

    You really need to ban Robert...to think he French's his mother with that mouth.

    I hear that Soddom has described himself to his captors as "a firm and just ruler..."

    Heh.



    I kill me.






        Saturday, December 13, 2003

    The Fart Before Christmas...

    ...From out of his ass, there arose such a spatter
    A cloud of bad Gas!
    and some vegetable matter!

    With Ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap
    I turned to her, shouting
    "I heard Santa crap!"




       

    Feliz Fucking Navidad...

    With all of the damn taxes I've paid over the years, and so much of it going to illegal aliens, you'd think I'd own several mexicans by now. My yard should look great, and there should be a comely doe-eyed senorita over there in my bed, ready to put her hot sauce on my burrito.

    Dang, gypped again.





       

    You Say This Is Christmas...

    It must be, because the Sci Fi channel is running nothing but horror/slasher movies...you think they could be more creative and less obvious. There are plenty of Christmas themed horror movies out there...Gremlins, anyone?





       

    This is too good to waste...

    I left this in another blog, aimed straight at the colon of what is maybe the stupidest liberal I have ever had to hose out of my boot treads...enjoy:

    Brian H, you have rewritten the definition of 'fool'...why your chromosomes haven't rebelled, and reformed you into a pool of primordial goo, out of resentment at being forced to maintain what passes for consciousness in your putrid, decaying, retarded husk is outside of the explanation any science or religion can provide. You owe society, nay, the world, a suicide, an atonement for polluting our environment and breathing up the air that would be better served in the lungs of child-molesting mongoloid communist leprous AIDs patient.

    Please...just die already.


    And I mean every word.




        Friday, December 12, 2003

    Ya Gotta Keep Em Separated...

    Don't try to tell me the races don't separate themselves. Take a look at the synopsis of this movie and ask yourself, why remake a white movie for blacks?

    I am starting to see more and more of this...successful white films being remade into the same film, but with black actors and themes. As a marketing and money making strategy I have no problem with it...heck, I don't have a problem with it for any reason at all I can think of right now.

    Just don't try to hand me the liberal bullshit line about how "we are all the same" and "we just need to be a more colorblind society". Hah!, and Double Hah!, and in your face! You see it in every lunch room from grade school to university level...the races segregate themselves...little clots of white, yellow, and brown...and then watch how the liberals scream when some kid tries to start a 'caucasian club'.

    Man, I hate people.





       

    Fucking Bureaucrats...

    Instead of a commendation and a promotion, this great man is fined $5000 and allowed to resign from the military. Every JAG officer alive should be hunted down like the dogs they are and butchered as a warning to any other ACLU type pieces of shit that are thinking about fucking up our great military from the inside.

    Vile pricks. And yes, I meant exactly what I said, SLAUGHTERED!





       

    This is funny as heck.





        Thursday, December 11, 2003

    As Promised, Movie Reviews...

    Sorry for waiting so long. In short? Go see The Missing, and go see Timeline...Quickly, before they are replaced by other nonsense. I give them two thumbs up, with minor reservations.

    In the long run? The Missing is Tommy Lee Jones's action hero swan song...he is getting long in the tooth, but he pulls it off, one more time. He comes across as someone you don't want to fuck with, but you know he knows better. There are people in this movie that you will beg to see them die. This means it is uncomfortably realistic. No shit. It is worth seeing on the big screen. Strong violence.
    As an aside, after I dropped my daughter off at her apartment, I called her on my cell and asked her "did you understand the skinned cow and the guy hanging over the fire?"...pause..."No...I didn't get that"..."Uh, the indians used to wrap up some of their captives in a fresh animal skin, hoist them over a fire to dry the skin, and it would crush them to death as it dried"...."oh...I didn't know that...uh, thanks.."..."G'night, baby.."..."G'night...love you.."
    It was at that moment, she understood why I said, as the credits rolled..."Now you know why I hate indians and mexicans..."

    Timeline...what can I say? Michael Crichton. Genius. Jurraisic Park. 13th Warrior. Nuff said? This movie is non stop action from beginning credits to ending credits. Great story, good acting, awesome sets, utterly realistic action. David Thewlis of Dragonheart fame is just...fantastic. It must suck to have 'Worm' on your resume, and yet he pulls it off.
    I own maybe ten movies, including the 13th Warrior...this movie I will buy to enjoy over and over again. Is there silly shit? Does The Pope shit in his Pampers? Duh. So what? If you do not enjoy this movie, I will personally give your money back.






       

    Another Baneism...

    I wrote this in the comments section of another blog to The Little Asshole Who Shall Remain Nameless Because He Is A Worthless Turd. Seriously. People can disagree with me, no problem. They can even hate me, and I'll understand, but the type described below just need to have their asses kicked for them and left in a puddle of their own blood to cry. Read on:

    There's one in every blog's comments section...some supercilious little twerp whose momma didn't raise him right...probably praised his doodoos when he was little, so he began to think his shit doesn't stink, and this attitude carries on into adulthood.

    He latches on to another commenter, and yaps at his heels like a little doggie, the kind of doggie that feels it is its duty to run and yap to everybody in the house that someone is walking past the fence.

    I picture him with this haughty, perpetually disdainful look on his face, like some fat, pampered cat that has just been sprayed in the face with water.

    Opinions are like assholes...some people are one.


    Pretty good, eh? Yep, I like to think I bring out the best in people! The little shit even had the nerve to cut and paste something from my blog that someone else had posted in the comments section DAYS ago that they had lifted from my blog, and when called on it, he had the nerve to admit he had never been to my blog because he "doesn't read bilge" or some such homo nonsense.

    What a fag.





        Wednesday, December 10, 2003

    Paul Harvey Is A Pussy...

    He did the right thing when he called Islam for what it is, a violent religion that exhorts it's followers to murder the infidel (uh, that would be you).

    Then CAIR, and the other Islamic boll weevils infesting our country, whine and complain, and using our laws (not their own sharia) they sued. Now, to keep his advertisers, and maybe his job, he backpedals and apologizes...essentially lying to his listeners, many of whom will probably say "huh, well I guess it is a religion of peace! Dang!"

    I always kinda liked and respected old Paul. Not any more.





       

    More From The "What The Fuck?" Files...

    Social Security checks could go south of border

    WASHINGTON - U.S. and Mexican officials are discussing an agreement that would allow millions of Mexicans to return home and still collect U.S. Social Security benefits.

    The controversial proposal that could transfer hundreds of millions of dollars in Social Security payments south of the border has riled some Republican lawmakers. They worry that it could reward scores of undocumented Mexican immigrants with a U.S. pension, draining the country's Social Security trust fund at a time when its future solvency is in doubt.

    "Talk about an incentive for illegal immigration," said GOP Rep. Ron Paul of Texas. "How many more would break the law to come to this country if promised U.S. government paychecks for life?"
    Final approval of any U.S.-Mexican "totalization" agreement is up to the Republican-controlled Congress. The Bush administration supports such an accord as a way to improve U.S.-Mexican relations.


    How can a man who has been so masterful at prosecuting this war be such an idiot concerning this policy? Combined with Tom Ridge saying we should give amnesty to illegals, this just makes me insane.

    I swear, if this goes through, I, a registered Republican, will vote for whoever opposes Bush, just as a 'fuck you' vote. And then I will never vote again. Ever.





       

    I Lifted this from Glenn Reynold's site just now...fuck him, he swiped it, too. Read and be amazed...


    Crime, terror flourish in 'liberated' Kosovo
    Ethnic cleansing, smuggling rampant under UN's aegis

    Four years after it was "liberated" by a NATO bombing campaign, Kosovo has deteriorated into a hotbed of organized crime, anti-Serb violence and al-Qaeda sympathizers, say security officials and Balkan experts.

    Though nominally still under UN control, the southern province of Serbia is today dominated by a triumvirate of Albanian paramilitaries, mafiosi and terrorists. They control a host of smuggling operations and are implementing what many observers call their own brutal ethnic cleansing of minority groups, such as Serbs, Roma and Jews.

    In recent weeks, UN officials ordered the construction of a fortified concrete barrier around the UN compound on the outskirts of the provincial capital Pristina. This is to protect against terrorist strikes by Muslim extremists who have set up bases of operation in what has become a largely outlaw province.


    Like ole Genn says, why aren't the media crying QUAGMIRE! over this?







       

    Tis The Season...

    ...to kill yourself and get the 'Holidays' over with. Another Mandatory Holiday has snuck up on us from behind, ripped our pants down, grabbed us by the haunches, and is boning us cheerfully with a big candy-cane dildo.

    Thanksgiving was barely interred when the Harbingers of Christmas, as is their wont, dropped the needles simultaneously into the grooves of bad Christmas records across the land to fill our ears and our brains with cotton candy, removing all sense and sensibility, and priming us to wander the malls like the zombies in 'Dawn of the Dead'.

    Note that I capitalize Christmas, a holiday I despise, and yet I do not capitalize 'islam' or 'muslim'...this is because one of the One True God's names is part of the abominable word, so I have to capitalize it, even though He is not actually a part of the holiday itself. No, He is just mentioned in the teasers, like a famous actor doing a five second cameo, to get you to buy a ticket and come on in.

    The merchants and the moneychangers are out in force, huckstering their wares to gullible fools. Why can't we have Christmas on New Years? The prices are lower, and the death of the old year is something to celebrate!
    My wife and I buy all of our toys for next year a week after Christmas, when everything that was 'on sale' before, is now bargain-binned and priced to sell sell sell!
    Do they think we are fools? Yup. And the biggest boondoggle of all is the druidic Christmas tree they try to pimp on you. "Here, put this smelly potential inferno that is dying as we speak in your living room for only $60! This model comes with extra sap, and a Hobo Spider!" Sheesh.

    We got smart and got the fake tree years ago...snap it open like an umbrella and, voila, Christmas! Now don't go tarring my wife with the scrooge brush that I so richly deserve, oh no...she is the love child of The Spirit of Christmas and Mrs Claus. The Christmas decoration boxes always seem to materialize from the garage, no matter how deep I have buried them. This woman LOVES Christmas.

    As you might guess, this caused some initial friction between us...she still hasn't forgiven me for telling her about Santa Claus...but my love for her, and the hot sex, combined to make me the complacently comatose Christmas dummy I have to be to survive this horrid month. She asks me "Don't the decorations look great, honey" and then pulls the string in my back and the corner of my lips pull up in an almost lifelike smile and I dutifully repeat "Oh yes Dear, they look wonderful...per-hap-s you and the chil-dre-n wou-ld like to go bake s-ome Ch-ri-istmas cuh-cuh-cookies..." and she claps her hands happily and shoos the kids into the kitchen with her Mrs Claus 'Especially Christmissy' apron...

    I head for the hidden bourbon bottle in my office to try to quell this manic lip tic I've developed.

    I am in hell.






        Tuesday, December 09, 2003

    Just A Note...

    To all of you who write emails of support, and who 'get it'...a heartfelt THANK YOU!

    The rest of you can just go kneel in front of the toilet, put your head in, and slam the lid down real hard.

    That is all.





       

    Hey, Retards!

    It seems like some of blogdom's intellectually challenged are cruising through my little site here, picking and choosing (cutting and pasting) what they want in some weird attempt to discredit me. This assumes that I have some credit, so....I am most honored to be of service.

    Since they are mentally challenged, I would like to assist them by giving them a list of nonsense phrases that they can get right here without having to go take things out of context from my writings below.

    Without further ado, I present:

    Hate Hate Hate!

    Mud people!

    Right on KKK!

    Darn those negroes!!

    Bane says, "kill all little brown babies!!"

    Apple pie? Why, I piss on one every day while I beat my mother with a dead whippet puppie!


    That should do it for now. Tards? Just hold down the left mouse button and drag it over whatever you want to use...when it is highlighted in blue, hit the CTRL Key and the C key at the same time, and then go insert it wherever you want....

    Hopefully where your proctologist will have to use the 'really long glove' when he reaches up there to pull it out...





       

    The Placenta...

    I think maybe it's just Gods way of saying "Steaks on me!"

    A little snack food for after, if you will.





       

    Drinking? Mebbe I Is, Mebbe I Ain't...

    Hey guys! Next time yer taking a piss in a public urinal, drop a couple of quarters in front of the urinal mint for the poor bastard what has to mop up yer spatter, eh? Good for you, good for the economy.

    And the rest of you daft shiites who might be goin after those quarters ye don't be deservin, wash yer hands before returning to stockin the salad bar, won't ya? It's only right.

    And fer the rest of yez, here's a tidbit o thanks I left behind at the loverly Dawn Olsen's site in gratitude for a link to the Paris Hilton Sex Tape:

    Um, thanks, htg...damn, that looked like Animal Planet video of two racoons breaking into garbage cans behind a Pizza Hut somewhere in Wisconsin. Crap.

    Just when she started to snorkel, it ended. No fair! I want my money ba...uh, never mind.


    I dinna ken Sweet Paris twas an alien afore...dinna look in her eyes! I warn ye!






        Monday, December 08, 2003

    Battlestar Gallactica!

    9pm, Sci Fi channel...be there.





       

    We May Have Created A Monster...

    You've heard the phrase 'Too Much. Too Soon'? I fear this is what we may have unleashed on the primitive culture of the Middle East.

    I have been surfing around the 'Iraqi Blogs', and what I find disturbs me. It seems we have distilled a tincture from our 1950's, 60's, 70's, and 80's, and let the patient drink the whole bottle all at once.

    As a War Tactic, I applaud it...sow confusion among the enemy and weaken them. As a reluctant occupant of this planet, though, I fear the effect, because, as their cultures (and I use that term loosely) are weakened, it leaves them wide open for control from without, and not all of the actors who will be sucked into the vacuum are benign.

    One just has to look at Japan, where an extremely restrictive culture was ripped away, and now, you have a country with no direction...no soul, accepting whatever is the worst dregs that other First World cultures have tried already and discarded.

    I do not mourn the nationalistic cultures of Japan, Germany (and, pending, Iraq) as they wane. What I do mourn, is the loss of respect for honor and duty that has dissipated with their demise.





       

    Slimy Little Cocksucker!

    If you know anybody who is planning on voting for Kucinich, go watch this ad, and then go slip an ice pick into their brain for me.

    Fuck.





       

    If you are not going to this site every day, you are wrong.





        Sunday, December 07, 2003

    Oooo, oooo, just one more!

    You simply must go read this speech by Michael Crichton to the Commonwealth Club on The Religion of Environmentalism.

    Talk about a stake through the heart!





       

    On The Superiority Of Western Civilization...

    Just one more thing before I toddle off to bed...

    I just read a blurb on Drudge about "global warming soon to submerge 3 major Indian cities..." Yeah, I know...ho hum...but it got me to thinking...

    A few hundred or so years ago, the Dutch, when threatened by the sea, and in order to claim land for their small country, built marvels of engineering to keep back the sea that serve their purpose to this very day. I think there were lesbians involved or something.

    How much you wanna bet that the Indians just shrug and redraw their maps to show the new beach front property?

    There are people who want me to genuflect to a 'civilization' (Iraq) that has only had rifles for a hundred years or so, and then only because the British gave them to them to use them as lackeys to fight the Turks.
    I do wish this civilization well, if only in my own self interest, but c'mon, this misplaced worship of a near-aboriginal, tribal 'culture' (and I use that term loosely, I've seen the videos of their torture)....

    Heck, folks...grow up.





       

    Happy Pearl Harbor Day!

    I almost forgot! Today we celebrate another time in our history when a bunch of nationalistic retards with curious religious beliefs killed a bunch of Americans in a vile sneak attack.

    Historically, and in retrospect, we may have kinda deserved it because of some of our policies and stuff....

    This still didn't keep us from taking the fight to their countries, and utterly destroying them as punishment. We even used nukes.

    Think about it, assholes.





       

    National Weiner Day...

    Did I miss the announcement? There sure seem to be a lot of people out tonight celebrating it! I feel like I've stepped into a room with Viagra'd up Teacup Poodles and I'm trying to walk around while several of them are desperately humping my ankles.

    Geez!





       

    I Love Conspiracy Theories!

    Someone forwarded this to me today...I just love this kind of crap. And, hey, it could be true.

    Was watching Fox News today and they were talking about this wave of the flu that has claimed many lives (the most recent a student from here in C. Springs), and they showed a map of the US that had the deaths by state for the entire country, and a very interesting picture came together in my mind. This post is 'merely' conjecture, and, perhaps, should be taken with a grain of salt. What I noticed is that the pattern on the screen before me was EXACTLY THAT OF THE JET STREAM. This is highly indicative that this deadly strain of the Flu was released in the atmosphere probably about two months ago and has travelled across the country by the jet stream. It MAY NOT BE COINCIDENCE that about 2 months ago the Chinese sent up their first astronaut that circled the earth twice.
    It is my belief that IF THIS IS THE CASE, that this is in preparation for the invasion of this country. They know most of our troops are overseas, and they also know the citizens of this country will not give up their guns, so they have to weaken the civilian population in some way - thus this strain of the flu.
    This also would indicate that the invasion is about to begin assuredly before next fall when the first phase of the Missile Defense is up and running.
    And, if that is the case, we can expect a wave of terrorism to begin any day. I believe The Death Winds of war are clearly blowing again...


    Whaddaya think?







       

    Yippee Ki Yay, Muthafucka!

    I got called a 'Cowboy' on an Iraqi's blog today. How can this be? I hate horses. Others have remarked that other cultures think that calling an American by the name of one of our most treasured icons is somehow an insult. Feh. They see too many movies.

    Is that the problem? They are forming their own cultures into a mish-mash image of our movies? Wow, that could sure explain a lot. More for me to ponder...





       

    Ugh...The Perfidy...

    Alas, my Glorious Raiders...I now know the pain the rest of you have felt with your inferior teams. Callahan should have just called everybody off the field for halftime, and then only sent rookies back out, along with Wheatley and Garner and Buchanan and Woodson. This bodes ill for tradeing time. Methinks the rats are going to desert the sinking ship, Rice first.

    Aaarrrggghhh! The Pain!!!





        Saturday, December 06, 2003

    Went to the 'New Weblog Showcase'...looked around...wasn't mentioned anywhere...lifted my leg, pissed on it, scratched dirt back on it...walked away with my nose up, happy as I could be.

    There seems to be an epidemic of Narcissism infecting the web. A time waster turned into a time waster...shouldn't that create an anti-matter explosion?

    Pity...blogs I have previously enjoyed turned into a huxter booth at a Star Trek convention...more's the pity, because I would be absurdly pleased to be part of it. But then I would privately hate myself.

    Hope this lunacy ends, soon. And what the fuck is this cult of Glenn Reynolds? He's friggin Matt Drudge, only prissier. Link sausage, and too bland at that. Frank J is far more funny, when he is not whoring his T-Shirts and playing the preppy "vote for me!" game. I think he knows it, too, on some level. His writing has really fallen off in the last month. A guy I think may actually be funnier and smarter than me, and he's flopping around on the beach like a carp. Oh, that reminds me:

    Question: What's black & white black & white black & white?

    Answer: A negroe fighting with a seagull over a dead carp!

    Ha! That joke still kills me.





       

    This broad cracks me up...if you have kids, go check her out. If you're one of my kids, planning to make me grandbabies, DO NOT go to this site.

    Thank You.





       

    Somethings Missing...

    I did something I rarely do...read the review before I see the movie. Now I'm going to go see 'Missing' with Tommy Lee Jones, and see if that pudgy bloviating fruit Roger Ebert is still as predictable as he's always been. He gave it 2.5 stars, and pretty much savaged it. Speaking of Savages, I suspect that the indians are portrayed in a harsh light in the film. Ebert telegraphs his punch when he scoffs that a 'white man couldn't out-indian an indian', or some such nonsense.

    As long as you portray indians as their myth, the Noble Red Man, the Liberals will kiss your ass (See: Dances With Wolves), but as soon as you show them as the murdering, kidnapping, raping subhumans they are, then the thumbs turn down.

    And as to white men 'out-indianing indians', how about those Mountain Men? There, amongst thousands of hostile aborigines, they managed to stay alive and thrive, their worst enemy being the expansion west of the railroads.

    Well, I'm off...more to come. Oh, and did I ever tell you that I sat in the middle of about four rows worth of real live indians at the premier of 'Billy Jack'? If you haven't seen it, go rent it, and then imagine being surrounded by real live injuns.





       

    Go check out this wine list...





       

    This is just to piss off the liberals...click on it if you want to help, then get your ass back here and read my screed, dammit.

    Miserable Failure






       

    Hold Your Horses...

    I have yet to see anywhere that those festering anuses at PETA are complaining about the horse handling in 'The Last Samurai' [see review below]. If you try to tell me that at least one of those horses in some of those battle scenes didn't end up getting sent of to be made into dog or French food, I'll eat my hat.

    It remains to be seen, but if we don't hear a PETA hue and cry soon, it is because of two words:

    Scien Tology...yep, you don't want those fuckers coming after you, and the presence of one of their premier members (Little Tommy) nearly guarantees no one will mess with this film.

    Good, because it is too wonderful a movie for anyone to tarnish, especially those loons at PETA.





        Friday, December 05, 2003

    The Last Faggy-Guy...

    I loved that movie so much today that I forgot I hated Tom Cruise. Go see it tomorrow. I mean it. The only problem I had with it is that is should have been an hour longer (2.5 hrs, as it was), though I hope that will be rectified in the DVD, which I will buy and wear out watching it over and over.

    This movie is sure to put a smile on James Clavell's dead mug. I was initially concerned, because of the aforementioned Tom Cruise, and the fact that the writer/producer credits looked like a clusterfuck from a Tasmanian gang-bang...never a good sign...but I'd enjoyed the previews, so I went.

    Theatre full of college students, and they all STFU and watched respectfully, and there was much cheering in the right spots, and quiet sniffling in the right spots...

    Go see this movie, tell your friends, and then go see it again. Tom C. has totally redeemed himself for his 'Mission Impossible' nonsense, and the appalling 'Ass Wide Shut', or whatever.

    He may have just begun a decent career.





       

    In Space, No One Can Hear You Fart...

    Man, I need to apologize to The Planet. I think I just scorched off a good chunk of the Ozone Layer...mighty hardwood trees will be bending over the Amazon soon, vomiting like a cheerleader after her first blowjob...
    I can't believe that thing came outta my ass.

    It rose from my shorts, rose rapidly past my face (I actually heard the moisture on my eyeballs sizzle) and then whooshed up the stairwell like a Romulan Plasma Burst...my wife was talking to me from upstairs, and she disappeared like a duck in a shooting gallery..."Fuck...Dammit! Oh, you nasty bastard!!" "Mommy! You said a Bad Word!" "Shut up honey, and run!"

    I ran to the kitchen to escape the fallout, and get some more wine...as I come back up the stairs I hear, muffled from behind the bedroom door, "Spray, dammit! Spray!" I thought I had...oh, 'spray'...I ran to the bathroom and got the can of 'Spiced Apple Death Bomb Neutralizer' and fought the beast until it died, decomposing into an apple scented miasmic cloud, a mere shadow of its former self...

    A few minutes later, the wife comes out, a study in righteous vengeance...she grabs my wine and gargles some "to get the taste out of her mouth"...what's she bitching about? My hair still smells like burnt pussy hair (don't ask).

    She points at me like her finger was a gun barrel..."If I was a man, I'd kick your ass right now..." she hissed, and fluffed off back into the kid's room..."Daddy stinks, huh Mom..." "Oh shut up!"

    I can still hear The Fart, susurrating against my door, trying to find a way in...weakened but not vanquished...Never More!





       

    Out, Out, Damned Spic!

    If this doesn't piss you off, then you just need to be pissed on.

    If I didn't have a wife and kids, and wasn't so lazy, I'd be headed there with a trunk full of guns right now.





        Thursday, December 04, 2003

    Fuck you Robert...go away.


    Hey, fellow Arab Haters, go to this blog and read, and see if we should soften our stance a bit.

    Since many of us, and our kith and kin are headed over there again around the first of the year, this may be some much needed intelligence.

    We'll see.

    UPDATE:

    Oh, and John? Fuck you, too.

    UPDATE 2:

    And you, too, Sharon!









       

    Another fun Marine blog...and he rites purty gud, tu.





       

    Go Read This...

    Read this right now, the email on Bush's visit to the troops.

    Whether you are Left or Right, you need to read the words of that captain. And if you are a Leftist, what the heck are you doing here?

    Get the fuck out, Loser!!







       

    Shoot A Cripple, Get The Chair...

    I just heard, out of the corner of my ear, an amazing story on the radio. It seems that in some mall, in some idiot-intensive area of our great country, several 'teens' were arrested for firing BB guns into a herd of crippled kids in wheelchairs.

    Now, let's ignore the inate hilarity of such an event, i.e., a group of tardlings mooing and crashing in to each other, frantically trying to get out of the line of fire (oh don't try to kid me, you laughed, too!)...
    No, the capstone of the story was the 'sentence' these mini-snipers received for spooking the herd of chair-jockeys...

    They were sentenced to two days confinement in a wheelchair, to make them more sensitive. Bahdump-bump.

    Here is where a perfectly amusing story goes flat. First off, if you are cold-blooded enough to fire into a crowd of crippled kids, how is this a punishment? How will sitting on your ass for two days make you give a shit? Heck, yer just glad you didn't get sent to juvie to get your asshole widened by a bunch of 6' 8" black 14 year olds, and all you gotta do is sit in a wheelchair? Fuck me...where do they find these judges?
    Now, if he'd have ordered them chemically paralyzed from the waist down for a week, confined to a bed, crawling on the floor, struggling to get up into a wheelchair and get to the bathroom before they shit themselves, I'd say "Right On!" He'd be a man, and those little assholes would never reoffend. Now, they'll just be more careful when they head out for some sick fun.

    We won't even mention that these wastes of chromosomes are tying up a $300+ wheelchair that some other person maybe really needs, a wheelchair that they will probably just tear up doing wheelies, and recreating stunts they saw on
    Jackass.

    Fuck, I hate humanity.





       

    WTF?

    I just read on The Glorious Dawn's site that someone is having a dead dog name guessing contest...kill us all now, Oh Lord, for we have nothing better to do than die, apparently. Dumbest fucking thing I've heard since Clinton won the second time.

    And besides, who gives a name to something you may have to eat? Pitiful. You ever see those 4H'ers crying and carrying on when Clarabell or Porky gets hauled off to the slaughterhouse after the contest is over? There's a sight for sore eyes...some ambiguous looking female in a cowboy suit, blue ribbon in her hand, bawling like a milk calf as the trailer rounds the bend...warms the cockles of my heart, I'll tell ya.





        Wednesday, December 03, 2003

    Why Bane Hates Canadians (Too)...

    Hey Canadians! Fuck off!

    Glad I got that out of my system. Canadians are like a bowl of light toast with skim milk poured over it. You know what I call the so-called friendly fire incident in Afghanistan? A good start! I still think those Canusians we bombed the piss out of were actually firing up in the air, trying to hit our magnificent jets because they were jealous of our technology...take that, Canusians!

    Oh yeah, cry...go ahead and cry, babies...Bane is so heartless and cruel, boo hoo hoo. Canadians are all like your best friends little brother, who you were sure had been dropped one too many times on his head, or was maybe possessed by the devil...either way, one minute he is eating anything you dare him to, and the next, you're having to leave him tied up in the garage because he went totally psycho on you, naked, with a lawn dart in one hand and a handful of catshit in the other...

    And they all talk like Hillary Clit-On....ahhhh, I just hate those fucking Canadians so much, and the French ones even more. The only happy thought I have about them and their moose sodomizing ways is that, as the nuclear missiles come over the pole at us, those that are intercepted will sprinkle down all over CANADIANS!

    Oooo, yeah, we'll all miss those fine Canadian wines, cuisine, and culture....NOT!!