I change the channel when...

...any Clinton appears, or any member of their failed, disgraceful administration.
...Any mention of Sc*** Pe***sen, or the wife and baby he murdered.
...entertainment news that doesn't involve gratuitous tit display.
...sports, unless it's a fight or a fiery crash.
...any liberal pundit appears to talk (lie) about anything.
...Bill O'Reilly's vile Irish mug appears.
...Friends comes on, or any teen dramedy or family sitcom appears...ugh.
...most commercials come on that don't involve beer and/or The Twins or Victoria's Secret.

I have worn out several remotes jamming on the mute button...I have yet to shoot or throw anything at the TV. I used to fire suction darts to cover up the faces of people I hate on TV, but I got tired of getting up to remove the darts. I hate commercials, but I love infomercials...go figure. Especially Thigh Master ones...I can tell that vixen wants me by the way she gives me those smoky looks while she spreads her thighs for me over and over and over....but I can't watch the Windsor Pilates one cuz just when I start to get all excited that fucker Danny Glover appears and some product shifting occurs during shipping...what an ugly liberal ape he is.